WHO AM I?
I sit down with my finger typing away at each key. I don't know how to start and I probably wont know how to end. Midnight.
In the background I here the television but I am not paying attention to it. I listen to myself press each key.
As my fingers connect to the keyboard the sound it gives me is a peaceful feeling. Tap-tap tap tap. Repetitive over and over again. Will tomorrow be the day something changes?
Your not supposed to wait around for change but where does it begin? How does it begin? Has it began already and I do not know? Making me question myself. Is it change when I decide to listen to my mom and cook dinner? Is it a change when I refuse to lend out money? When does it begin? And is my change for the best?
I've taken change for the worst I've stopped going to school never gotten my G.E.D. Why? Of course I know the answer. I cannot be surrounded by teachers see potential and push too hard. Kids who bully the smart kids. Smart kids who feel people like me aren't worth there time. Where do I belong? Where do I fit in? If I were to go to school and try my average would be a 90. I'm learning to play acoustic guitar. I'm a computer wiz of the house. I'm immature and like surprising people who think I cannot do it. I don't like to be watched or counted on. I am responsible when I need to be. I'm a girl who doesn't sleep in her own room because I gave up my bed for a friend. I sleep in my mothers bed.
So who am I? A nerd, A reject, a pushover. Labels are for cans and other things but wouldn't you like to know what the world sees of you and where they think you belong? It is your choice to be what they except or something different.
Note: I'm not having a identity crisis I just realized I'm oblivious to the world around me. I want to know and understand how the world sees me and why?