Dear You,

The thing is, I know we are not friends anymore. Nor are we best friends. And to be honest, I have no idea what exactly we are. And I'm the kind of person who needs answers, exact ones. I hate wandering through life wondering about something, like a yes or no or maybe. What couldn've been, what I should've done, should've said, or why this happened. I hate sitting here wondering why you changed all of the sudden on me like a whirlwind, a sudden change of tides in the oceans. I have no idea why because I gave you everything I had, believe it or not and it's lame! It's just so stupid, and it's stupid that we're like this. Totally ridiculous because, here I am feeling like a lame ass loser who is grieving the loss of her best friend, like she's been pronounced dead, buried ix feet under the ground, but you are not dead. You're alive; so alive it makes me sick because to me, you are dead. And you know, it would almost be better if you were actually dead...then I wouldn't have to remember the old you and see the new, horrible and backstabbing, you. There would be no you, just like there is no us anymore. Like I said, I have no idea exactly what we are. I mean, think about it. Are we exes? Sorta-kinda-maybe-just-a-little-friends? Stuck in between something like hate and love? But, it seems to me that we're not stuck in the middle or sorta friends. We're just a broken hallelujah, a faint echo of what we used to be. I'm not sure and I'm sorry but I just don't understand. I need answers but I'm too afraid, too hurt to even ask you. Because most days, I try and forget you. But you will not let me forget, you evade me.