A/N; So I was on the phone earlier today with my best friend ever and she was telling me how she wanted her soon to be boyfriend to be whipped. I laughed hysterically. She pretty much inspired this with one thing guys do for their gals that pretty much defines them as 'whipped'. So this is dedicated to my best friend Katie and her soon to be boyfriend.
Anywho I am working slowly but surely on "My Happy Ending".
Time to do some serious work. By the way this is told from a guy's point of view as well.
I've finally come to terms realizing I love my girlfriend. I love her more than the world itself and upon telling her that a few weeks ago, things drastically changed. For the better, of course. Why would I change my routine for the worse? Eh? We moved in together in my apartment outside of Chicago, overlooking the city. Everything was perfect, I have the love of my life with me day and night, except for work, we pretty much do everything together. Yes people we even cook together.
We met a year ago back at a friend's halloween party. I was what Ne Yo called 'Commander in Chief' of my possi. Single and living my life to the fullest, although my last steady relationship didn't go as planned...the woman was what you call psycho! I dumped her two months before the party and she proposed to me. Naturally I never thought I'd hear of a woman proposing to a man and if you told me before she did it, that she would, I'd laugh my arse off...but then she did......and I got a restraining order on her. So arriving at my best friend's bachelor pad, the ladies were swarming every where with some sort of alcohoic beverage in their hand, which is your usual party scenario.
"Hey Kyle, looking fine tonight!" Lora winked at me as I walked over to the guys in front of the TV. I'm not much of a flirty type guy with my gal friends, sorry that cramps my style.
All I can honestly remember after that is seeing two extremely beautiful women walking through the hall toward the bathroom. But the one I happened to be looking at was not drinking liquor, she was carrying...orange juice? Who drinks...well never mind but you get my point. I couldn't take my eyes off her, long brown hair, a dazzling smile and doesn't wear too much make up. Thats a rare combination if you understand me. Usually girls pile on the eyeshadow and cake on foundation...yuck!
I instantly knew I wanted to talk to her, get to know her...hopefully she isn't crazy like my ex. My buds caught me red handed, eyeing her over jerking my leg with how I all the sudden became interested in a mysterious girl. Well I decided to take my chances and make her a none mystery girl, it was like she knew I was coming, her eyes met mine and...how ironic, Pat Monahan's "Her Eyes" started playing in the background. She smiled that megawatt smile and I melted. I knew she was interested in me too, hello, what girl can resist charm?
So living together with my girlfriend isn't bad, oh no! I absolutely love it! I'm no longer the 'Commander in Chief', but I'm fine with that. I rather chill with her on my off days than drink the night away watching football. Thats child stuff.
We watch cheezy romance movies, looney tunes and sing off chord to our favorite songs. We're just cool like that. Though I don't think she liked the idea I spent a large sum of money on her for her birthday, but she needs to be spoiled rotten. She deserves it for making life worth something.
Then one day.....something happened. Something embarrassing happened. Guys you all know what I'm talking about too. I'm cooking dinner considering she's working late at the office, singing "Stand by Me" one of my favorite songs in the history of all music and the phone rings...it's her.
"Kyle?" she sounds so cute with her quirky voice.
"Yeah babe?" I reply smiling.
"Can you do something for me?" the quirk never leaving her voice.
"Sure!" I reply..not thinking what that favor could be. Any other guy would ask but I did not. Now I wish I did.
"Remember the load of laundry I dropped off earlier at the laundry mat? Well I'm still working and I won't be able to pick them up. Can you?" the pouty voice....no longer the quirky voice. This was a new thing. At first I grin to myself, scoring brownie points with the lady!
"I sure will!" and with that, cooking was finished until I returned. Grabbing my coat I sprang out the door headed for the laundry mat.
Like I said any other guy would have asked before, but I love my girlfriend and I would do anything for her. Walking into the corner laundry mat, I recgonized the lady, Francis who does our laundry because we don't have time.
"Good evening Kyle, I'm getting ready to close, good thing you came."
"Yeah, Delaney had to work over, so how much for the load of pants?"
Duh duh duh!!!!!
Francis looked at me quizzically. Like she really had no idea. I stared back at her, waiting. She pushed the basket in front of me and...Oh my flippin god. I think I just fainted. Delaney had to be joking to send MY load of laundry...oh boy this is..um..no comment.
"I don't think these are....pants." She raised an eyebrow, "But its twenty either way."
Delaney left a basket of MY underwear and...other undergarmets with Francis. I turned scarlet, the thought of the older woman handling my undergarmets doesn't do much for me. MY underwear, and naturally of course she'd want me to pick them up. I lowered my head and handed her the twenty not saying another word, too embarrassed and I headed home.
I couldn't stay mad, but I could stay embarrassed and Delaney only chuckled at my embarrassment. "I love you!" she reminded me before heading to bed. Ahh, the things I do for love.
Trust me that wasn't the last thing the woman had me do either.
"OOOWWWWH!!! IT HURTS!" Delaney screams murderously.
Women and their...periods. Although it isn't their faults, guys still can't help but be disgusted by it. Heck we don't like the mention of anything to do with periods. A girl says she's on her period, more than likely dudes are tuning them out. The mental images....are just...okay never mind I'm shutting up before I vomit.
I sat at the end of the bed, watching her maniacally eat the chocolate ice cream I brought her. Its about two in the morning and I'm killed out. She however, is not. Her stomach is cramping. I feel sorry for her I really do, once a month she is all psycho and emotional along with hungry all the time...I almost feel like crying sometimes. Even though that isn't a manly thing to do.
"Feel better?" I yawn.
"No." She pouts rubbing her tummy and then she closes her eyes muttering something that she forgot.
She opens her eyes slowly looking at me...and for once in my life I am truly scared. I honestly have to say there is nothing more terrifying than a woman on her period cramping. Even her eyes were glowing and her teeth were bared. *Gulp*
"Kyle, can you do me a favor?"
HAH! I knew it, more favors. Embarrassing favors too I bet. I scrunch my eyes at her, curiously. She sighs huffing about how she has to do everything and I don't do squat. Typical way she gets me wrapped around her finger.
"What do you need Delaney?"
Her megawatt smile returns and she crawls toward me, wrapping her arms around my waist.
"Could you run to Wal Mart and grab a box of tampons for me?" she said it so cute and innocent with the puppy dog pout I almost didn't realize what she asked of me.
TAMPONS?!!! Holy...COW! I seriously almost choked on my spit. She just asked me to walk in Wal Mart, around god knows how many people and buy her feminine thingys! Because of her gross period. Why did God curse women with..periods? I pulled away looking at her psychotically and challenging her. If she thinks I'm stooping to that level she is really off her rocker.
But then she does..no, says the one thing no guy can resist in her cutest and most innocent voice, "If you love me Kyle, You will so do it!"
And reeled in. Just like that.
*Groan* the things I do for love.
Walking casually in Wal Mart, hoping none of my buds are here, I head for the feminie section toward the toliet paper and such aisle. I pulled my jacket closer to me, just in case Chad or Adam might see me. God they'd never let me live this down. Nobody is really paying me any attention to realize I'm headed in that direction. AWESOME!
So as quickly and quietly and as unnoticibly as possible I slip in the aisle, carefully. But to my horror...there wasnt just one brand of tampon. This is the boyfriend's nightmare. The motherload of tampons setting all settled on the shelves. And realization hits..once again. I don't know which brand. She just said tampons. Great I'm the only guy in this particular aisle. Once again, the things I do for love.
I furrow my brow and pop my knuckles walking forth examining each box.
Thats when I notice several women silently chuckling at me. Yeah, they would laugh at the mortified boyfriend. Pfft.
All the while examining these unholy products that women buy it suddenly dawns on me, I'm whipped. I paled standing there staring blankly ahead, Delaney has me whipped. All the favors before hand were nothing compared to this and because I said yes to run out to the nearest Wal Mart, I have succeeded in becomming whipped! Holy cow! Still staring at the never ending shelves of tampons I just become angry. Not with Delaney, oh no, but, with the tampons.
Pearl? What the heck?
Tampons have pearls in them? Thats just disturbing....I shudder walking toward another box.
"Delaney never mentioned which one..." I groaned feeling like an epic failure. If I got the wrong box...she would not only get mad but seriously freak out on me. Never before has she asked me to do this. Never. I wouldn't mind buying chocolate or ice cream, even buying razors for her! But this? This is beyond....crazy.
I froze solid, crap, that is...and I turn only to see Chad and Adam grinning madly at me.
"Why are you in this aisle?" Adam asks walking up to me, as if I've committed some kind of murder.
"Uh...well you see it's very simple.."
"She's got you whipped doesn't she?" Chad sighed rolling his eyes patting me on the back. "It's okay I understand."
"She's cramping...and she asked me to buy tampons." I cringed seeing them smirk at my unfortunate situation. Of course they as well burst into uncontrolable laughter. Typical idiotic behavior.
"Chad, you can be so immature! Leave him alone, after all, you were doing the same thing for me last month!"
It was my turn to laugh as Chad's girlfriend, Hailey, walked up narrowing her eyes on him. He inwardly groaned and blushed. Adam however said nothing and stood quietly.
Hailey grabbed a box off the shelf and turned to me, "Here, I know she wears these because she's lent me one when we got our manicure. Don't mind Chad, he does the same thing for me." She wasn't joking either, her voice sold it all. I absolutely loved seeing Chad miserable or being embarrassed. Makes my day.
And so I have her box of tampons in a bag walking out of Wal Mart. Mission Accomplished. And being whipped....is one of the many things guys do for love.