Let Me Out

I sit on my bed perfectly still. I listen to the soft patter of rain outside my window. Pitter patter, Pitter patter. It's a soft rhythm almost lulling me to sleep, I imagine it a soft symphony of notes. A calming sound.

I listen to it more. Suddenly it grows louder, becoming a constant thumping. Plip plop, plip, plop. I imagine monsters stomping along, coming to get me. I see devils pounding on drums. My head feels swollen, heavy. I feel my mind ready to break.

I let out a scream of horror, but then the pounding stops. I become calm again.

I look around me. I'm in a prison; dark walls surround me. I'm trapped. I'm in a cage. I can't get out. Claustrophobia hits me. I try to calm myself. Where am I? What happened? Who am I? My mind is an empty shell.

I try desperately to remember something. Anything. I look out the window of the prison and gaze at the blue sky. Blue.

FLASH. I see blue eyes and a kind smile. Long golden hair and angel lips. I remember loving embraces. Tender kisses.

The flashback ends. My heart feels warm as I see these things. I push my mind to remember more but I can't. Where am I? Who am I? My mind is an empty shell.

I stand up and pace around the room. Long golden hair, blue eyes. What does it mean? I study my prison carefully trying to remember even a moment of where I was and how I got here. Frustration fills me and I pound my fist against the wall.

FLASH. I see an explosion, the house collapsing. I run to it. I search for long golden hair and angel lips. Then I find her.

The flashback ends. Find who? My head hurts as I strain to remember more. I hear footsteps outside the door. I hold my breath, waiting for the door to open, to answer my questions. But the footsteps fade away and the door remains closed.

I walk over to the door and pull on the handle. It's locked. I'm trapped. I'm in a prison. I can't get out. I start to panic again. I yank on the handle harder but to no avail.

I fall back onto the bed, nervous apprehension filling me. What happened? Who am I? My mind is an empty shell. I glance at the bed covered with a crimson red blanket. Red.

FLASH. Red. My stomach twists, my head spins. Blood, red, horror is what I see. Her head is twisted around at an impossible angle. Her legs almost amputated from her body and her long golden hair now a crimson red. Long gashes of horror lay across her once angelic body. No longer will her kind smile warm the world. No longer will her angel lips bring pleasure. I reach out to touch her. I caress her once flawless skin. As I pull back I stare at my hand. Blood drips down my palm.

No! No! No! I let out another scream and fling myself against the walls of my prison. I cling to the bars of the only window. I pull and tug but they don't give way. "Let me out!" I scream.

I try to get out. I try to forget again, but it comes rushing back.

FLASH. I have to get away. I have to run. My legs pound across the ground but I can't seem to go fast enough. I push harder, my heart thumping inside my chest. Ka-Thump, Ka-thump, Ka- thump. I don't think about where I'm going; I just run. Vaguely, I see myself running up stairs. Ka-thump, Ka-thump, Ka-thump. I end up on a high balcony. The wind whips at my body tempting me to the edge. I look at my hand again, still stained red with blood. Then I look over the edge and jump, the ground comes rushing up to meet me.

I'm on the floor, anguish enveloping me. I hit my head on the ground trying to leave, to forget it all. But it comes rushing back again in fast flashes

FLASH. Ambulance lights flash around me, Pain. FLASH. I'm in a strange room, people try to talk to me, try to get answers out of me. But I don't want to talk so I attack them in anger. I almost kill one of them. FLASH. I'm being led towards a large building. FLASH. Men in white coats with pills and strange needles surround me. They put me in a suit to restrain me. No! No! No!

The flashbacks end. I lay on the ground, my breathing heavy. Tears roll down my face. A woman enters the room. I grow angry. I try to attack her but men come rushing in and force me to the ground. I give up as they push a needle into my skin. I suddenly become increasingly drowsy. The last thing I whimper before going to sleep, "I'm not crazy, please! Let me out." The world becomes dark. "Let me out."