the first thing I ever saw
was a piece of glass. it was jagged and uneven and it was the most beautiful thing i ever saw. and i cried, because i could see it, because i could see.
he says his name is christian, so i believe him, but i think he looks more like a charlie. he has windswept dark brown hair and powder-blue eyes and i tell him unabashedly that he looks beautiful, and he stares at me profoundly and says thank-you, but he never quite stops staring at me after that.
"marley," he said,
but i shook my head, no, and he smiled brokenly and swallowed the lump in his throat and went away. i closed my eyes and took my pills like a good little girl, and then i looked in the mirror and i saw a pretty little girl with straight brown hair and brown brown eyes and i thought - i thought, wow, that girl is pretty and then i thought i wish that was me and then i thought this is like glass and then i broke it.
i broke it.
christian is a friend. i learn this when he takes my hand and holds it. "marley," he says, and his powder-blue eyes are digging straight into mine (what colour are mine? i hope they are purple because that would be so pretty, hey) and he says, "why don't you come home?" and his eyebrows furrow and i touch his forehead and look him in the eyes and say,
my heart likes to clench & unclench
repeatedly so, and i do not know why. it does that whenever i see christian and then my eyes water and i wipe at them. and he asks me if i'm okay with this vulnerability in his eyes and i smile at him and say that of course i'm fine, why wouldn't i be?
he closes his eyes and
begins to cry
and i think
he is so
that i begin to cry
"you're killing yourself."
"but we're all going to die anyways."
"i think you look more like a charlie than a christian," i say to christian honestly.
"i think you're greedy," he says back softly.
"do i know you?"
he punches the wall so hard that his knuckles split open and bleed, and i take his hand and i remember how to bandage things up, and then i compliment myself on how well i clean up, and he laughs bitterly.
he doesn't come around anymore, christian. he doesn't. and now i remember who he is and i remember who i am and maybe he doesn't come around because he's afraid that i'll forget, and maybe i will.
the last thing i ever saw
was a pair of glasses, and they casted a little light on the wall beside me and i smiled at it because i could see and, as my eyes began to close, christian came sprinting in and, oh , he yelled & screeched & sobbed and i took his hand and i pressed it to my forehead and i smiled and then i couldn't see anymore.
angsty and made up of broken pieces.
Characters: Christian 'Charlie' Canmore, Marley Verre.
Prompt: glass, sight, BREATHE ME - SIA