So this is my first work of original fiction. I warn now, there be some decently profane dialogue here so if you are easily offended, consider yourself warned.

Questions, comments, criticisms, they are welcome, just please be gentle ;)

For once I can say, these characters and this story are mine :)


At 1am in the front seats of a late-model Subaru Impreza Hatchback, a man in his late 30's and a young woman in her mid 20's sat in conversation. She wore a faded black tank top beneath an open and collarless button-down shirt; her long wavy hair curled up behind her in a messy yet elegant chopstick secured bun. The man wore a more typical get-up of a faded "Sex Pistols" T-shirt on top of ripped and faded jeans, his hair a short nap. The young lady's porcelain skin a sharp contrast to her associate's dark complexion.

Their surroundings were nearly pitch black this late at night save for some streetlights and the car wore a dull, flat-black finish, as did its wheels and taillights. No reflective surface could be found anywhere on it, no badges dictating a make or model, and the license plate had also been coated in flat black paint.

"So tell me how that works again?" She asked from behind the steering wheel.

"Alright, check this out…" The young man replied with a thick British accent, "…s'called 'rape or roll'."

"Rape or roll?" She repeated questioningly.

"That's what I fucking said; rape or roll! See you and your blokes go to a bar lookin' for tail right? So you're hangin' out and you find some bird that's even a little into you. So you start snoggin' her and whatever. Soon as you know you got'er on the leash, you get as pissed as you can."

The girl's eyes narrowed in curiosity, "Why?"

"Lemme fuckin' explain!" The young man barked.

She struggled to contain her smile, "I'm sorry, go on."

"So yeah, you get pissed as possible. Drink till you're almost blacked out."

"And the point of this is?"

The young man smiled, "You're fuckin' mashed so you'll be havin' a great fuckin' time, and since you're so fucked, the littlest shit is gonna send you over the edge. The bird you're with is gonna be thinkin', 'Fuck, this blokes fuckin' crazy! If I don't let him stuff me, I'm gonna get fuckin' raped so I better just roll with it'. I'm tellin' ya Luke, shit is pure genius."

An alarm started to sound outside and Luke's head snapped in the direction of a community college just a couple hundred yards away from the car.

"Sounds fascinating." She replied as she started the car bringing about a horrendously loud and lumpy idle from its oversized exhaust. She feathered the throttle to keep the engine running while the young man opened a laptop.

Just over a slight hill between the car and the building, a man carrying a series of large tubes across his back came into view. Luke flipped a switch on the floor opening the hatch of the car which the man promptly threw the tubes into.

"You up?" Luke asked of her associate.

"Good to go." He replied in a much more calm and collected tone than he had previously let on he was capable of.

The man who had thrown the tubes into the car slipped into the backseat and slammed the door, "Go!"

The car failed to move as Luke peacefully requested, "Payment?"

"When we're gone, now go!" He shouted.

"That wasn't the deal." She replied.

"Just drive the fucking car dammit!" The man shouted.

Luke didn't turn to face him as she replied once again, "Cops'll be here in a few seconds."

"Listen bitch…" The man shouted only to find himself staring down a pair of guns Luke and her associate had drawn on him; then the sirens began.

"Clocks ticking, I'd suggest you pay us as we agreed chap." Luke's associate suggested.

The man reluctantly threw a backpack to the young man and as he checked it she asked, "Tommy?"

He smiled, "Go baby go."

Luke smiled and the tuned engine barked several times before spinning all four tires loose from the pavement as a trio of police cars rapidly approached. On Tommy's laptop, their position was being tracked via an overhead map of the country roads that surrounded them.

"Right four, tightens three." Tommy said calmly over the wail of the exhaust.

Luke pushed the car through a tightening right-hand turn and Tommy again gave her directions, "Flat, opens 1000…"

Scrolling across the map and checking the road conditions ahead, Tommy completed his next thought, "…left three, right two don't cut, opens…"

"What the fuck are you two doing?!?!" The passenger trailed off screaming incoherently as he flew from side-to-side in the backseat.

Luke calmly replied over the man's screams, "If you don't mind, I am trying to concentrate."

She slammed the shifter into 3rd eliciting a loud series of bangs at the exhaust. Several up-shifts, screams and some 900 yards later, she backed down the gearbox as the cops continued to lose sight of the car.

Luke checked her side-view mirror and flicked a switch mounted to the back of the steering wheel which seemed to quiet the exhaust and further hide the car. As she tore through the roads Tommy continued to deliver his pace notes when he spotted a route where they might easily be able lose the police cars.

He smiled devilishly, "500, right one hook, down and tightens, opens to five; flat."

Just a few seconds and approximately 450 yards later, Luke's eyes locked onto her braking point and she slammed on the brakes and clutch. The tires locked up instantly losing all traction and therefore not making a sound nor leaving a mark on the road or smoke in the air.

"Hey, hey, HEY!! What the fuck are you doing?!!?!" The passenger in the backseat screamed in panic, bracing himself as the car began to slide.

Flicking the steering wheel left to right, and then back to the left, Luke dropped down a gear, flicked the switch on the steering wheel and pegged the throttle. The exhaust barked to life once again and she slammed the clutch out, the tires squirming for traction as the car slid. Before the man in the backseat whom was being tossed around like a ragdoll in a dryer could realize it, the car was straight once again and headed down a long straight-away with no police cars in sight.

Luke checked her mirrors and a smile formed on her face. She backed off the throttle slowing the engine and slipped the car into top gear, quieting the car significantly while bringing speed down to the limit. She reached down to the center console retrieving a pack of cigarettes which she shook bringing two to the surface. Tommy took one for himself, and she brought the other to her mouth using the box as a delivery system.

The man in the backseat watched on as Tommy casually lit Luke's cigarette, more or less horrified.

"Was it good for you?" Luke asked receiving a smile from Tommy as she exhaled a mouthful of smoke.

Tommy laughed, "So chap…" he turned to face the man in the backseat, "…where to?"

-

Later that morning, Luke and Tommy walked through the front door of a small off-street office. Luke fell into the chair behind what was apparently her desk while Tommy took a seat on the desk and flicked his loose ashes onto her blotter. She sneered at him and he merely smiled at her obvious displeasure. At the desk opposite them, a man perhaps in his late 30's, early 40's sat passed out with his feet propped up. He was just barely clean-cut, wearing a sport coat over a burgundy shirt with an open collar and no tie.

Retrieving a stress ball from her desk, Luke gracefully lofted the ball towards the sleeping man, striking him square in the chest. He looked around frantically as he woke, only to find Luke and Tommy staring at him, Tommy wearing the same shit-eating grin he always wore, while Luke looked ready for bed, her cigarette merely hanging from her lips.

The man blinked the sleep from his eyes and spoke quietly as he yawned, "Hey you two. How'd it go with Mr. Haden?"

"Little shit tried to skimp on payment." Tommy replied.

"Lucy?" The well-dressed man asked.

"We got him where he needed to go." She replied.

"Cops?"

"Only cause the fucking wanker tried to skank us on the money." Tommy replied with a yawn.

"Anyone follow you?"

"I listened to the CB on the way back. They're lookin' but they didn't even get the make. Think we're good here." Tommy replied and took another drag from his cigarette.

"Lucy…" The well dressed man asked before seeing she had fallen asleep in her chair, a still smoking cigarette dangling from her lips.

He waved his hand in Tommy's direction as he stood from his seat, "Get that thing out of her mouth, please? Before she burns the building down."

Tommy pulled the cigarette from her lips and slipped it into his as he stood from her desk. Now smoking two cigarettes at once, he asked "Care for a boozer Neil? Maybe some rape or roll?"

Neil chuckled as he fixed his coat, "Nah, I think I'll pass on the R and R for tonight."

"Queer." Tommy replied.

"See you tomorrow Tommy." Neil shouted as Tommy walked through the door.

Neil carefully reached towards Lucy's desk to try and take her keys. Not very surprisingly, she grabbed his hand as he touched the keys,

"I'm not that asleep."

He smiled, "You alright?"

She looked up and yawned, "I'm fine, just tired."

"You gonna crash here?"

"Yeah." She replied with a yawn.

Neil smiled as he walked to the door, "I'll lock up. See you tomorrow."

"'Night." She replied.

Lucy stretched her legs before taking her keys from the desk and retreating to a room in the rear of the building. She unlocked the door with a key, and gently slid a dimmer switch. The dimly lit room was revealed to be not much larger than the bed in it. The walls were papered with newspaper clippings, all of them related to police chases. Several automotive-themed trophies rested on shelves above the bed as well, the name "Lucy Graham" inscribed on each of them.

She pulled the chopstick from her hair letting the wavy locks flow, removed her button-down and slipped on a pair of pajama shorts before heading to the bathroom. The bathroom was also dimly lit via a dimmer. She stared at herself for a moment almost as though she were casting judgment on herself. She ran her fingers through her hair and carefully reached up to her dark brown eyes. Upon removing her contact lenses, her eyes were revealed to have no pigment. She blinked several times as she struggled to cope with even the sparse light of the bathroom. She once again retreated to the bedroom and promptly switched off the lights before falling onto the bed for the night.

-

The next morning, Neil found Lucy as he typically had; still wearing her sleep attire while underneath the Subaru. He looked down at her narrow legs and bit his lip as he shook his head, clearly pleased at the sight. He checked his watch revealing the time to be 7:30 in the morning.

He knelt beside the car, "Mornin' Lu."

"Hey Neil." She replied from beneath the car, her tone wide-awake.

"What are you doing?"

"I saw the new skid plates came in yesterday, just thought I'd get them installed."

"Did you ever think about maybe, I don't know, sleeping longer?"

"Not really." She replied simply.

"You know I'm the boss, it's my job to be here and be responsible."

"I was already here and it's my job to keep the car in order."

"It's your job to drive; it's Tommy's job to keep the car in order."

She slid out from under the car wearing a slim and tasteful pair of sunglasses, her long curly hair bunched up in a messy ball atop her head, "Haven't we had this discussion? It's Tommy's job to help me drive. I know how I want my car set up and it's easier for me to work on it than explain it to him only to have him to get it wrong anyway."

Neil sighed as he stood, "Why do I bother?"

She slipped back underneath the car and shouted, "Liz is looking for you and some guy called to set up an appointment."

"What'd you tell Liz?"

"That we'd have the rent today."

"Were you lying?"

"I don't think so."

"What about the guy; what'd you tell him?"

"No hablo inglese." Lucy shouted.

Just as Neil rolled his eyes, she continued, "Don't roll your eyes; his number's still on the caller-ID."

-

In the office, Neil sat back in his seat. His feet once again propped up on his desk and a phone to his ear, "Hi this is Neil from Independent Couriers…"

Tommy entered the office hobbling; looking more-or-less like a truck had hit him. He fell into Lucy's seat with a groan as Neil dropped his feet and sat up to take down information, replying sporadically throughout the conversation, "Uh-huh. Residence?" Face-to-face? Anything hazardous?"

Lucy walked into the office still sporting her night attire, which now harbored numerous grease stains, and her contacts were in once again. Tommy both smiled and groaned at the sight of her slight 105 pounds in skimpy clothes, "Fuck Neil, how the fuck you let this bird walk around like that?"

Neil waved his hand silencing Tommy and he took another swig from his brown-bagged bottle.

Lucy's jaw dropped at seeing Tommy drinking so early, "Jesus Tommy it's 8 in the morning!"

"It's not booze you fucking twat."

She walked over and snatched the bottle out of his hand. Slipping the bottle from the bag revealed it to be Pepto-Bismol.

She immediately smiled and laughed lightly, "Rough night huh?"

He snatched the bottle back and replied accordingly as he rubbed his forehead, "Sod off."

Lucy retrieved a loose cigarette from her desk, which Tommy lit for her and Neil hung up the phone a few seconds later, "Hooray, we have a job."

He handed his notes to Lucy, and she looked them over as he explained them, "Our client's name is Patrick Sullivan. He's not paying a lot but he's not asking a lot either."

"What's the story?" Tommy asked.

"We're to pick up a package from his home in Queens and deliver it to another home in Philadelphia. I figure travel time, cost of gas, nature of the job, and our time; he's paying $500 flat when we pick up. Figure that oughta cover us completely and put a little in the jar."

"What time?" Lucy asked.

"Soon as you two can get down there."

"What the fuck do I need to go for?" Tommy asked.

"I have to go to Manhattan; family business. I'd say you could stay here and field calls, but I'd really like to stay in business."

Tommy gathered his cell phone from Lucy's desk as he replied, "Fuckin' berk."

Neil smiled as Tommy walked out back towards the car, then turned his attention to Lucy, "You alright?"

"Yeah, why?" Lucy replied.

Neil pressed his fingers to his chest; his best who-me look present and accounted for, "I can't just be worried about you?"

She smiled, "Really I'm fine. I'm gonna get changed. Hopefully Tommy just passes out when we hit the road."

-

"So she's down on me right; just'is I'm about to pop some guy walks in. Turns out; bloke is her husband."

Lucy laughed, "What'd you do?"

"I backed my shit out her mouth! So I'm sittin' there with my jewels exposed to the world, expectin' the beatin' of a lifetime, and instead the guy starts fuckin'er, right there in front of me. Turns out that's how they get off, catchin' each other fuckin' 'round behind the other's back, then fuckin' in front of the person they got caught fuckin' 'round with. Tellin' ya Luke, this is a crazy fuckin' world we live in."

"So what'd you do?"

"What do you think?! I wanked on the fucking tart's face, they fuckin' loved it."

She made a disgusted face, "Ugh, christ Tommy, I meant what'd you do that made you need the Pepto?"

"Oh, well what I was tellin' you about last night?"

"Rape or roll?" She replied.

"Yeah, well I was mashed so I went to a diner and ate two orders'a hot wings. An hour later and I was pissin' out my ass."

Again she made a disgusted face, "Why couldn't you have just fallen asleep?" As she asked, Tommy chased a white pill with the Pepto, "Now what the hell was that?"

"Caffeine. Keeps the worst part of the hangover at bay."

"Lovely. You feel better and I get stuck with a mad-man as a bi-product." Lucy replied as she pulled the car to a halt in front of the house in which they were to pick up the package.

As they walked to the door, Lucy sternly and quietly addressed Tommy, "Don't say a friggin' thing when he opens the door. You blow this and I wasted the trip out here and I swear I'll give you that beating you missed out on last night."

"Relax Luke, I got this." Tommy reassured her with a smile.

Lucy knocked on the door and a younger man opened it a few moments later.

"Top'a the mornin' guvna!" Tommy said brightly earning himself a hard elbow to the ribs from Lucy.

Lucy conjured up a wide smile as Tommy reeled from the hit, "Mr. Sullivan?"

"Yes?" The man asked.

"We're from IC; we understand you have a package for us?"

"Yes…" He reached behind the door bringing Lucy to quickly and discretely reach her left hand behind her, her hand wrapping the grip of her Glock.

As he turned back to face her, he held the package; a lockbox, not much larger than a toaster, "…here it is. It's going to…"

She cut him off, "116 Kenton Ave, Philadelphia Pennsylvania."

He nodded, "That's right."

"Neil told us you'd be paying upfront?" Lucy asked with a guarded smile.

Tommy accepted the package while Patrick handed an envelope to Lucy, which she slipped into a pocket.

"Great, it'll be there in 2 hours." She said with a smile before turning back to the car with Tommy.

"Wait, you're not going to count the money?" Patrick asked.

She stopped and turned to face him, "You've got an honest face and it's only $500."

He smiled and waved, "Thanks for taking care of this for me."

"No problem." Lucy replied happily.

Closing the doors and driving off, Tommy commented, "Fuckin' wanker."

"He looked like a nice enough guy." Lucy replied.

"Luke when're you gonna get it? Ain't a chap been born sees a bird like you and isn't thinkin' 'bout shaggin' the shit out of you. I'm talkin' black and blue thighs sweetheart."

She blushed slightly, "Well at least he didn't tell me about."

The two trailed off arguing as they carried on at a civilian pace towards Philadelphia.