& it's like
every step i take
just pulls me
farther away from you.
& no matter how
hard i try to hold on,
you're slipping out of my
fingers. like water
dripping from cupped
hands—imperfection.
i can see you
just beyond my reach
but the edges are
blurring. my heart beats
for you, do you know
this? you're holding my heart
in your hands. don't you see
the blood dripping from your
fingers? or is it running
(blind)clear like the
water pouring from
mine?

[i opened my hands
&i
let
you
go.]

a/n: Father into your hands,
I commend my spirit.
(System of a Down)

Yes, I know Jesus said this as he died.
I'm quoting a song.