Unrequited Love

Dear Diary,

Today I met the man of my dreams.

You know when you see someone special for the first time, your whole body is instantly rejuvenated? When I saw him, it was like a shock wave. It's the first day of freshman year and when I walked into my fifthperiod Drama class, there he was, sitting with my only friend in that class, Ashlyn. I sat on the other side of her, relieved that I wasn't the only one I knew in the class. Odd thing is, she was talking to him. To the guy that makes my heart flutter and my cheeks warm and my knees weak. I have no idea who he is and this has been the first time in my whole life I've felt this intensely strong about someone. He's just... perfect. I shook my head, he couldn't fall in love with me. That only happens in romance movies or the young adult books I always read. I mean, he's tall. A foot taller than me, making me look like a midget. He's got the blondeschool-boy cut and the brightest blue eyes I've ever seen. I felt like I was living in someones story. He's so perfect with his pretty-boy face but he's also a loner. Apparently, he doesn't know anyone in the class except Ashlyn. When he was finished talking to Ash, which was also the same time I sat down next to her, I whispered to her if she knew him.

"Of course I do, Hope, I don't talk to people I don't know. Duh." She said, rolling her eyes.

This guy's head turned from Ashlyn to me. I could tell from the corner of my eye and my cheeks grew hot. I looked down at my lap, "Oh."

My heart was pounding and with him right there, so close to me, I couldn't ask for his name. I couldn't look at him.

The bell rang about five or eight times and the teacher stood up. She had straight blondehair, a typical southern bell. She had on high heels and an ankle-length green skirt and a tight spaghetti strap shirt. She looked about 35, if I had to guess. She was holding a Finding Nemo turtle in her hands.

"Good afternoon class, I'm Mrs. Bowerson. Today we will get to know eachother. First I need you to move your chairs into four stacks next to the door. Now." She instructed

Everyone, that's all 17 of us, stood up and lifted our chairs to form four stacks next to the double doors. When we were stacking, Mrs. Bowerson told us to stand in a big circle in the middle of the small classroom. We did as she instructed. I stood next to my only friend in the class, Ashlyn, giving me some familiar comfort. I scanned the circle for the mysterious, all-black wearing blonde that made my heart jump out of my chest. Who is he? Mrs. Bowerson was 6 students to my left. A short blonde boy with a pink shirt was next to her; he must be gay. Gay guys are the greatest! I continued to scan until ...there he was. He was across the circle from me. Exactly across from me. Staring at me... right at me. I looked away before he noticed I was staring back. I can't believe our eyes locked. I can't believe he noticed me. I hope he doesn't think I was a weirdo.

"Who is he?" I whispered to Ashlyn about the guy.

"Who? The guy I was talking to?" she shrugged. "He's my friend. We've been friends since 5th grade. His name's Brennan."

Brennan. I smiled. This mysterious, handsome man has a name.

Mrs. Bowerson interrupted my thoughts, "I will toss this turtle to someone. Whoever catches it will have to repeat everything I say and tell your name, age, favorite color, where you were born, and your hobby. Got it?" Half the class said yes. "I'm Barbra Bowerson, I'm 35" --Score!-- "my favorite color is green, I was born in Oregon, and my hobby is dancing. Ok, here he goes." She tossed the turtle to my right side. A Hispanic boy with baggy pants and gelled spiky hair about an inch high caught the turtle.

He repeated everything the teacher said and then introduced himself. "I'm Carlos Lopez. I'm 15 because I failed this year, thank you for that Mrs. Bowerson. I love the color purple, I was born in Mexico, ladies, and I love soccer." He smiled and threw the turtle to the short blonde with a pink shirt.

He leaned his weight to one foot and tilted his head a bit, "Carlos Lopez, 15, purple, Mexico, and soccer. Ok, I'm Daniel Dawson, I'm 15, a sophomore, and I obviously love pink! I was born in California and moved here when I was seven, when my mom moved in with other mom. I love to design clothes and act!" He smiled too and threw the turtle to Ashlyn.

Ashlyn said everything Daniel said then, in her chill voice, introduced herself, "I'm Ashlyn Heartwood, I'm 14, my favorite colors are red and black, I was born in New Jersey, and I like to read." She threw the turtle... to Brennan!

I thought to myself, act cool, act relaxed, calm down. He's just a guy and there's no way he's going to ever like you back, he's too good for you. Trying to control myself, I missed everything he said. It didn't matter to me anyway, he was probably going to toss it to someone else. That's when a Finding Nemo turtle skidded right at my feet. I mean right at the toes of sneakers. I couldn't have someone grab it for me, I had to grab it. I had no choice.

"Um..." I said. All eyes on me, even his. My cheeks grew hot again. I was so embarrassed. "Your name is Brennan..."

FAIL. FAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAILFAIL. FAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIILLLLLL. I wanted to die. I wanted to crawl under a rock and die.

The mysteriously handsome Brennan that made my heart flutter for no reason cleared his throat. I looked up at him. He stared at me and I stared back. I couldn't look away this time.

"Brennan Park." He whispered across the room.

"Brennan Park." I repeated.

Mrs. Bowerson looked from me to Brennan to me again, "and how old is Brennan?"

He's really tall so he's obviously older than me... "15?"

"16." Brennan said, his bright blue eyes digging into mine. I silently gulped.

"And what's Brennan's favorite color, Hope?" Mrs. Bowerson asked me.

I looked over his clothing. His shoes, shirt, and pants were black. I felt confident about this one. "Black."

Half the class smiled and shook their heads. I want this to be over. So. Badly.

He opened his mouth but waited two seconds to say, "Blue. Light blue."

I smiled, giving up on hiding my red cheeks, "Where were you born?"

"Florida." He said

"What do you like to do?"

"Play football." he said

"Cool." I said, turning to my teacher. It's over, I can look away. I can breathe. "I'm Hope White. I'm fourteen, my favorite color is red" --it's not but I don't really have a favorite color so I said one at random-- "I was born in Alaska, and I like to take pictures of people when they don't know it. It captures their personality and isn't planned or orderly. It's real."

I waited a second but since no one said anything, I half-heartily threw the turtle to a girl that didn't even speak English but thankfully we had Carlos to speak for her.

The class bell rang just when we were done. Everyone hurried to get their book-bags and walked to the door. I saw Brennan turn to probably look for Ashlyn but then he saw me, he didn't look away until I walked ahead of him. My cheeks burned again. He's so tall. He's so captivating. He's so perfect... and I will never have him.