A Christmas Rap

Oh, our world is always filled with madness,

And for some, it might be filled with sadness,

But right now there isn't any badness,

Because right now is the time of Christmas.


So, go! Disperse our dark and evil souls!

Give up! Forget all my malicious goals!

So as soon as merry December rolls,

All that's left of the evil flames are coals.


So cue the cheesy holiday specials,

Playing every night throughout the thresholds.

And cue the Christmas trees adorned with lights,

Giving kids hope and lighting up the nights.


Cue young Rudolph with his nose glowing red,

Leading all the reindeer and Santa's sled.

Cue old Frosty with his magical hat,

Up in the hilltops is where he is at.


'Cause now it's Christmas the season for love,

Hark! Is that mistletoe hanging above?

And we deck the halls with boughs of holly,

Giving people reason to be jolly.


The jingle bells are jingling away,

Oh, lot's of fun when riding on a sleigh.

All the children pretending to be good,

Acting in the ways that they never would.


So cue the frantic last minute shopping,

Filled with chaos, there's no time for stopping.

Cue the Christmas music throughout the malls,

Bundles of gift wrap, and holiday calls.


Cue the chugging down of cups of eggnog,

Drink enough and your mind will be in fog.

Cue the snowball wars, and wreaths on the doors,

Cue the "Ho ho ho!'s" 'til you're on all fours.


Look it's the big man! Santa Clause himself,

Laying out his master plan for his elf.

He's making a list and checking it twice,

Have you been naughty or have you been nice?

If you've been evil, you'll now pay the price,

So swallow your pride and take my advice!


Help old ladies cross the street,

Always floss and brush your teeth,

Clean your bed and underneath,

The road is hard but rewards sweet!


Always say please and thank you too,

No rude burps or eating glue,

Be sincere in all you do,

Then your wishes will come true.


Always eat your vegetables,

Even if they don't look edible,

Then your deeds are credible,

And the path to presents is treadable.


If you've got no presents then you've misunderstood,

Don't cry, getting lumps of coal is still pretty good,

The price of fossil fuels is worth more than it should,

So sell it on EBay or burn it and not wood.


And I wish you all a merry Christmas,

A Happy New Year and a future bright!

Yeah I wish you all a merry Christmas,

Also to everybody a good night!

Jason Do