it's dark.
and i'm crying.
[at least that way, no one can see the ugly motions my face makes.]
[only i can feel them.]

i told you i didn't want to be with you;
i told you.
i told you not to follow.
you should know you didn't fix anything by coming on after me.
i needed to be alone.
i needed to fix my own problems.
not be guilted into solving yours when i hear you cry and sniff as i push you further away.

i needed to be alone.
but you wouldn't let me go.
so i returned, to get something else accomplished.

and now you ask me to come to dinner.
and i know what it does to you when i refuse.
i know it's more than just dinner.
it's your way of apologizing.
but it's too soon.

and now the tears have dried.
and now all that's left is the numb in my head, once again.


nov 29