"F' me…" I growl when I hear my alarm blasting by my head. Hitting the snooze button I roll back over and snuggle into the warm of my sheets. It's 6:30 and in my mind that is way too damn early to be up. Yes, I'm aware I won't fully go back to sleep and in ten minutes that blasting will once again go off but for now my mind is thinking it won't and I'm going to enjoy my next few minutes of partial sleep.
"I miss you," I hear him whisper on the phone but I don't say anything back just sit here with the tears running down my face and him whispering through a drunk slur he misses me once again. "I love you," he says for about the hundredth time this conversation happened.
I don't know why I answered when I saw it was him; I should have just ignored the call. I mean we are over, we are completely over but I still answered, I still picked up and like always I sit here listening to him begging for me back.
"I'll fix things if you let me. Come on baby just let me fix everything," he slurs but I just shake my head even though he can't see me, "God baby say something, say anything. Say you love me, say you miss me and say you will let me fix it."
He is begging and I want to, I want to tell him ok but I don't all I do is say. "No," then hang up.
"Damn it!" I curse waking up from my dream and hating myself for once again dreaming it. Dreaming of him again yet the part that sucks was it's not a dream, just a stupid memory that likes to randomly pop up when it chooses, normally it being when I am asleep. Normally happens a lot around this time of the year.
"Ok ok I am up god damn," I growl hitting my alarm off and throwing myself out of my bed. I hate damn Mondays, always have, hate having to wake up early for school and just going to school but this isn't just another Monday. This is October 19th and that is just bullshit Monday.
I jump in the shower washing my hair before climbing out and drying it. I like most days straighten it and let it fall down my back to just above my waist. I actually love my long hair; it's really the only thing about me I really like. My eyes are brown, like super dark brown and they are very doe like but not in the scary I looked surprised all the time but just big and most people call beautiful and dramatic.
I am a skinny frame for a seventeen year old junior in high school but I am not sickly skinny. I am about 5'6" and a good 110 pounds. My body has curves and my ass is what I get most my attention from mainly because I really don't have much going on upstairs of my body, but it's ok because seriously if my boobs were huge on my small frame I would just look really weird.
I put my makeup on, put on my black eye liner and dark eye shadow before going back into my room. I climb through my closet for my white jean skirt that I love and then grab my pink shirt. The shirt is not really silk material but the way it hangs makes it look like a real smooth material. It clings in the right places and lets out where it needs to. I put some lotion on my tan legs, slip on my white flip flops and grab my bag heading downstairs.
"Morning daddy," I smile sitting down my bag and leaning over kissing his cheek.
"Morning sweetie," he smiles fixing me and him both a cup of coffee as I make us some toast real quick. "I talked to your mom earlier and she said she is coming down in about two weeks and John is coming with her," he tells me and I nod loving my parents relationship. They didn't really have a bad divorce they just fell out of love, they are actually best friends and John my step dad has been my real dad's best friend since they were younger. Mom didn't cheat or anything just after my dad moved out her and John hung out and started to have feelings for each other. John of course called my dad asking almost for his permission and my mom did the same and he just laughed saying he didn't care as long as he was good to his baby girl (me) then he doesn't care at all. He was actually which is really weird the best man at their wedding and gave my mom away, so see no hard feelings.
"Ok sounds good," I tell him as I put some jelly on both our toast handing him his piece and he handing me my coffee. "I think I am going to Millie's house today after school if you don't mind."
"That's fine; just call me when you get there and leave please."
"Always do," I smile and he nods with a chuckle. "But I am off, I will see you later tonight love you have a good day," I tell him kissing his cheek as he says bye and I walk out to the garage to my car.
I love my car, like seriously my dad got it for me for my 17th birthday; it's this gorgeous candy apple red 2012 Nissan Xterra. I love it, with its black leather interior and the amazing v8 engine that makes this baby speed. It was definitely worth the wait of getting a car on my 17th birthday.
I grab my iPod plugging it into my adaptor and starting my car. I spin the dial for shuffle and let Undo It play through my car because this is definitely what I need to focus on today. And as I drive down the road to my best friend's house I just sing along.
"I should have known by the way you passed me by, there was something in your eyes and it wasn't right. I should have walked but I never had the chance. Everything got out of hand and I let it slide. Now I only have myself to blame for falling for your stupid games. I wish my life could be the way it was before I saw your face…" I sing along and then frown I wish I could go back to not meeting him I wish so badly, "You stole my happy, you made me cry. Took the lonely and took me for a ride. And I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it. You had my heart, now I want it back. I'm starting to see everything you lack.
Boy, you blew it, you put me through it, I wanna uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-undo it." I hum as I pull into Millie's driveway and hunk.
"Hey J.J. I'll be right there," Millie yells holding up her finger at me as she yells something back into her house at I guess her mom then skipping out. Millie is pretty, very pretty. She has blonde hair that falls just below her shoulders with baby blue eyes, she is seriously the sweetest person you could ever meet and I love her. She welcomed me with open arms when I moved here and we became quick best friends and spend pretty much every second of every day together. "Well hello love," she smiles getting in my car putting on her seat belt as we drive off.
"Well hello you seem chipper this morning," I note and she nods.
"Well that because I am," she smiles while she grabs my iPod changing the song to something I guess more upbeat and happy.
"Would you care to elaborate on the happiness?" I ask raising my eyebrow at her before looking back at the road.
"Well I happened to get invited to Ryan Jones party this weekend," she smiles and I know she is happy because she has a huge crush on Ryan. He is one of the star football players, yet the only difference between him and the rest is the fact he is a major sweetie. He doesn't care about the popularity thing, he is popular he knows but kind shrugs it off. He still manages to be friends with us people classify as beneath him. And I know for a fact he has a major thing for my best friend.
"Girl that's great I am happy for you," I tell her.
"Yeah well you should be happy too since you're coming."
"Umm…no sorry I'm not," I tell her quickly. I hate parties, I haven't been to one since that party back home. The party I chose not to think about. However I'm not part of the 'it' crowd here and refuse to stand in the middle of some house having the school's Queen of Bitch giving me that 'why are you here?' look.
"Oh come on please I am begging you please, please, please. I don't want to go alone," she begs but I just shake my head no. Millie knows pretty much all about me, however I've left out some things. Things that I know if she knew she wouldn't be pushing this. "J.J you're my best friend you have to come with me. I don't want to be alone with those girls but I really want to go. Ryan really wants me to go," she pleads and I just look over at her with her hand to her chest begging with her lip poked out as far as she can get it making me laugh.
"Fine," I agree and she squeals throwing he hands in the air. "But I leave when I want and I don't want to get there right when it starts and I don't want to stay the whole night. Once I know you and Ryan are ok and in a comfortable place I am out got it."
"Got it," she nods agreeing with the biggest smile as we listen to music and drive to school.
"Oh my god, guess what today is?" Millie squealed grabbing my arm as I put my books in my locker; she is always one to be over excited about things.
"Oh my god I don't know what?" I mock getting an eye roll as I shut my locker and lean against it.
"A year ago today we became best friends," she smiles placing her hand on her heart and doing a fake sniffle. "I am so truly blessed for this to happen and I expect when you take us out on our anniversary date tonight it be very special," she teases making me laugh.
"Ok I promise. I mean a year is a long time, I don't want you to feel it's not special," I joke as she locks our arms together and walk down the hall to first period and Millie rambles about something like always and I feel myself start to space out.
"Oh stop," I flip my hand at him and shut my locker door. "I mean seriously, when did you become so needy?"
"It's an annoying habit you pull out of me," he teases and I let out a small giggle. "Please Janelle," he pokes out his bottom lip. "I'm begging you here…"
"I'm catching on to that," I roll my eyes at him and shuffle the books in my arms. "Why are you trying so damn hard? You got me," I toss my hand to the side and he smirks. "The chase is over…"
"I know," he brushes my hair off my shoulder and I feel my skin tingle by his light touch. It's annoying to me how well he seems to do that. "But I want everyone else to know it too…"
"So what? You want a cocky claim on me, huh?" I kink a brow and he nods slowly shuffling his feet and pressing me up against the lockers. "Fine…" I flip my hand up to rest on his shoulder and give a bored shrug. "I'm yours…"
"Mine…" he gets the sweetest smile I think I've ever seen him give as he leans forward and I feel those gorgeous lips crash into mine.
"J.J…" a hand places on my shoulder and I jump back and snap out of my daze. "You ok?"
"Yeah," I swallow hard and blink a couple times. "Fine, just…just spaced out, but what were you saying?" I wonder and see her give me a questionable look before letting it go and continuing on with her story.
First period is so boring. It is the only class I don't have with Millie and I really hate it. It's English and I was never one for the whole words thing. I mean all the rules to using a damn comma, or if I should put good or well, if I have to know what kind of sentence I am writing. I am sorry when I get a real job I don't think they will ask me if I am saying something in a simple sentence or a complex one. I don't think they will ask me to diagram a sentence because, hello, it's English, you aren't supposed to diagram damn sentences like seriously.
I also hate this class because I have all the little cheerleaders and their jock football players. They all talk during the whole class and they all toss some pretty amazing looks my way. Like seriously I love the looks they are just so sweet and loving looking. Not.
"So you coming this weekend?" I hear turning to see Ryan leaning in his chair behind me.
"I don't know Ry, Millie asked me too but I am still debating," I tell him as I scribble down the rest of my notes.
"Yeah well I really want Millie to come but know she won't I you don't."
"Well why do you want Millie to come?" I grin turning in my seat kinking my eyebrow at him as he turns a cute shade of red trying to find his words.
"Well…I.. I mean we are friends and well umm...err…friends hang out," he stutters making me laugh.
"Right," I agree nodding dragging out the I in right and smiling at him. I wonder why Millie makes him so nervous. Ryan is pretty cool and laid back, girls throw themselves at him and he really has his pick of them but he has it bad for my best friend. My best friend who is nothing like his ex's or even his friends but she is also the only girl that makes him blush and stutter like an idiot.
"Just please come," he asks again and I just nod not letting him know I already decided on it just liked to see him stutter and beg. "Thanks J.J I owe you," he smiles.
"Oh having, like, a free pass on Ryan Jones to owe me something, I think I like that," I smirk tapping my chin making him laugh as he leans back in his seat. "What are they all talking about anyway?" I ask as I hear bits and pieces of 'popular group' chatter about something.
"Already using your free pass on me?" he smirks and I laugh slapping his arm. "But I don't know, some guy is moving here. Big football star, like quarterback or something. Coach was telling us about him replacing Mickey since he is hurt and the guy was looking for a small school where he could play more and get a scholarship…but I half listened," he explains with a shrug before starting on his class work.
"Oh great," I groan spinning in my seat. "One more stupid ass jock taking over the school."
So I am revising and editing this story. Hope you enjoy it! But can't promise how often updates will be!