I came upon a village just few miles from Auckland, deciding to take a look I went in. For some reason the place looked deserted, a tumbleweed rolls by. I knew something's up, seriously why would the place look deserted? I really hope it's not the village from Wicker Man. After wandering around the village for a bit, I start calling out for someone.


No answer...


Then suddenly someone bolt out of a house and quickly dragged me back in.

"What the hell is wrong with you? Are you trying to get yourself killed?"

"What's going on?"

Then there's an awkward silence.

"A mime..."


"Our village have been terrorized by a mime for years, many of our bravest had tried to stop him but they all failed, we suffered under his reign since then!"

Then I shuddered, a super-evil mime.

"Where does he live?" I said.

"Are you crazy? Don't tell me you're going to fight him"

"I just want to check it out, is he really that bad?"

"Alright you can go, he lives just outside of the village, near the barn"


As I was about to leave, I noticed a photo on top of a drawer.

"Who's that?"

"That's my gran dad...thirty years ago he was a policeman until he went to investigate a disappearance of a little girl, but it turns out to be a setup and he was burned in a wicker man..."

My stomach turned.

"Was something done?" I asked.

"No, they got away with it, I don't know how but they did it,"

"Are they still around?"

"No, after that sacrifice failed they killed their leader and broke away,"

"Then they didn't get away with it!"

"Yes they did, they were never brought to justice!"

"Alright calm down, anyway I'll go and meet that mime."

Just as I was ready to leave, I also said "You know, it's best if you stop watching 'Wicker Man', it's bad for your mind."

"Shut up!"

As I was heading to where the mime resides, I encounter his ninja body guards. I haven't been this weird out since watching an episode of some anime my brother downloaded into the MP3 player, it's about furries. Seeing those ninjas are mimes as well, I decide to have some fun with those two idiots. First I pretend that I'm holding nun-chukus and start attacking them, after disarming them of their pretend weapons, I start smacking them with my pretend weapon until they took out a pretend shuriken and proceeds to start throwing them at me.

I did what Keanu Reeves did at the climax of "The Matrix" by stopping those pretend shurikens, then I took out my pretend gun and twitch my finger as if I'm shooting them. Eventually the ninjas pretends to be dead. Fresh from my powerful victory over the mime's ninja bodyguards, walk triumphantly to the house where that mime lives. Once I went in, I saw him sitting on the ground pretending to play nintendo wii. He saw me and starts shooting me with his pretend gun, but this time I'm not playing along...sort of.

Seeing how his pretend weapons failed to faze me, he tries to hit me with his pretend baseball bat. I start pretending that I'm holding a sword and I sliced off his bat, soon I stabbed him. As I was ready to finish him off, the mime finally broke character yelling "Alright, alright, I'm done! You win!"

He explained how the whole thing started out as a joke and that he didn't think the village idiots would take it seriously. Soon afterwards we parted ways in good terms and I went out to announce that they have been liberated. Yes we celebrated throughout the night until this morning, it's been a long day.

The world is filled with gullible idiots...