Before I tell the whole story, let me first say that the first paragraph is not my own. This is a paper I wrote for school and we had to use a quote to begin our paper. The first long paragraph is the quote I used. I admit I'm sorry that I forgot the author of this quote, but I give them full credit. This quote was from some "failed quote" or something like that and my job was to make a story out of it. I hope this is acceptable and that you will be entertained and not bored out of your mind.

Can you BEAR it?

"Once upon a time, a very very very long time ago (ever so long ago), a teeny tiny weeny furry bear (smaller than most) named Norbert Smythe lived with a great many other teeny tiny weeny furry bears in a cozy cave lined with cupboards filled with honey jars and jam tarts and other yummy gooey treats fixed by Norbert's mummy (who loved him just as much as your mummy loves you and always tucked him into his teeny tiny weeny furry bed each night and dressed him each morning in little blue coveralls and a red and white striped jersey and a cunning little sailor hat) in the middle , the absolute center, a great big huge enormous forest and lots of bunnies and squirrels and mice and ducks and quite a few lambs and puppies and just a few kittens lived just around the corner so Norbert had ever so many exciting adventures and all around fun times; this is the story of just one of those all-around fun times and if you like this story, you can ask mummy and daddy to buy you all the rest of the forty seven books in this series."

Not all of the books will be mentioned here, just the memorable parts and adventures from some (if this generalization included every adventure from every book and basically documented every aspect of Norbert's life, then going on and on and on and on talking and talking and talking about Norbert the Bear would cause someone to get annoyed, uninterested, or bored, so it is always good to freshen up on what is good in the series and not just summarize the whole thing). If no one ends up getting this series, then they will miss out on BEARy exciting adventures through the great, big, huge, enormous (did I mention great?) forest where Norbert will climb the forest trees, frolic through the flowers with his girl bear, Natalie, and BEARly escape the clutches of the big bad evil non-friendly hostile bear snatcher. He's just one of those big shot unfriendly bad guys that Norbert can't BEAR to be around that does bad things (like turn good little cute bears into clothes, or even worse, woman's purses…). But it's ok, because in Norbert's forest, the bad guys never win (they are just generally added into the story to spice it up and add suspense, but usually fail and make the main good characters more lovable, remembered, and heroic).

Don't miss out on other wonderful times where all the animals in the forest gather round a comfy cozy fire, make and eat s'mores, and sing the "Norbert the Bear Theme Song" a whopping 127 times. The camp fire keeps everyone warm and happy inside. Speaking of warm and happy, there are also lovey-dovey ooey-gooey hunky-dory times where Norbert holds the hand of his girl bear Natalie and explores a golden beehive saying, "Honey, I love you!"

This series of books will make you just want to say, "BEARy nice!" This story will deserve three big thumbs (or rather should I say paws) up. Norbert will jump from bushy trees that look like broccoli (kids love their veggies), swim in the beautiful clean unpolluted (chemical free) river, and the best part of all, hibernation in the big cozy cave (only until a couple days later when he sees white snowflakes fall and his teeny weeny bear friends wake Norbert up to go outside and build a snow bear, make a snow angel, or an igloo, or even have a snowball fight. Norbert and friends could even make snow sundaes with a yummy honey topping. When they say, "It's a winter wonderland!" in Norbert's world, it is so true)!

Norbert the bear will not disappoint anyone. In fact, he makes everyone feel better about themselves by having fun in his bear world. So why is Norbert the bear better than all those other kids' characters? Well, the quicker someone buys the Norbert the Bear official series, they will not only get stickers that say "Norbert the bear's #1 fan" or "Norbert the bear gives you three paws up", or even "Norbert is BEARy BEARy cool", the purchaser will also get a free Norbert the bear "pull the string" doll that has 5,000 Norbert the bear phrases (including 1/5 of them being bear puns). Is that not enough to BEAR? There's more. Every purchaser gets their own Norbert the bear membership card so they can experience Norbert the bear at a new level and enjoy his adventures with twice the fun.

The ending to Norbert's bear adventure is also so great and lovable, as well as so unoriginal (yet great at any cost, so good it is like a honey topping added to a cake). So the evil bear snatcher runs away, so far away that no one knows where he is (because it's just too far away) and then flowers started to bloom again and sway in the breeze and everyone cheered at such a relief as the bad guy left the enormous forest that everyone knew and loved. And Norbert was a national hero, who eventually married Natalie, and they had 12 children named Nathan, Neto, Noso, Nack, Nimber, Nazathial, Nickolas, Nerodamus, Nataffia, Noah, Nessica, and Neyola who all lived in a comfy cozy bear cave and lived BEARy happily ever after.

by thatcrazyrainbowguy