OUR GLORIOUS LEADER
The "Presidente", Hugo Chanfles, was giving his daily speech to an incredible audience in the national stadium and to millions more in TV:
"Comrades! Workers of the World! First of all, I salute you. You, brave workers fighting against the evil empire and the sins of the capitalism, are our first line of warriors, and let me tell you that our government would never forget the sacrifice of your lives…"
"Wait, wait ..." someone in the audience interrupted "…sacrifice of…lives?"
"Oh, nevermind! It was the wrong card…Anyway; today I've got incredible news for our great nation: Our oil production has increased by 4000%!"
The audience yelled and repeated all kinds of Pro-Chanfles slogans, and "Yes, You Can" was one of the favourites, but after a couple of minutes, "El Presidente" asked for more attention.
"Thanks comrades, and special thanks to our foreign guests: Vladimir Pudin, President of Russia!"
"Wait, wasn't he the FORMER president of Russia" Another voice in the audience questioned
"Oh, details comrade, details" the president continuing his comment "…And of course, the ambassador Mohammed Al-Jafri from the Islamic Republic of Killallthejewstan"
"Wait, which country is that one?" Another person in the stadium asked to one of his comrades.
"Killallthejewstan? Just pick one…" the comrade answered while Chanfles continues with his speech.
"And now, I have to give the…"bad news": Since we are running out of electricity, the government has decided to implement a new policy: Just two hours of electricity a day"
The audience was shocked, and eventually, someone HAD to question the Glorious Leader about the new policy.
"Señor Presidente…" A young girl questioned
"Please, just call me "Glorious Leader…"
"Well, yeah: "Glorious Leader", I need to ask: If we are producing more oil than ever before…why the energy cuts?"
"Oh, please young girl, don't worry about it, only focus in the important: we are doing in for the good of the country!"
"Hehehe…" Chanfles calls to his security chief "…Please, take charge of that girl"-
After a couple of "Revolution Guards" took the girl out of the stadium, Chanfles could continue:
"…In other news: we have decided to ban all violent videogames"
And a scream of terror could be heard in all across the country by the combined voices of all youngsters and kids of the republic.
"Violent games? Like…?" One young kid asked
"Well, only the really violent, you know, like those where you kill zombies or the one where you beat whores to death, or all the Wii Games"
"Wait, Wii Games? They don't seem too violent.-
"Obviously, you have never been hit by a WiiMote while playing Baseball…"
"But…why? I mean, I know they can be violent, but…" The kid wanted to continue with his comment, but was interrupted again by Chanfles
"It's not only for the violence factor: Those games are a cultural imposition by the Yankee Empire, mining and destroying our own culture and way of life!"
"But…most of those games are Japanes…"
"Well, that's all the time we have today!" Chanfles once again interrupted "…The first "programmed blackout" will start right now! But don't worry: The energy will be restored by this hour tomorrow, just in time for my new project: A socialist soap opera and it will untitled: "The Communist And The Bold"…."Hasta Mañana"!-
There would be bad days, harsh days, but in the end, it was for the good of the country, but especially, above everything, it was for the benefit of our glorious leader.