perhaps genuine love was something they had never been taught. sped in five minutes, comments appreciated like no other.

love, green teaa.


Something that was once a work of art turns to scribbles and scowls under my hand. I can turn even the most beautiful of those that exist into something that horrifies the most tolerant of men. There are some who hate me, some who love me, some that simply turn a blind eye to my deeds. I should be grateful for my existence, and in many ways I am. But there will always be a part of me that abhors myself, that detests myself enough to drive my soul insane, to the highest heavens and the deepest depths.

--

He smiles. There's a bittersweet smile lingering on his face, like he's letting part of his inner exterior show, like he's letting everyone in on a little open secret. There. I used three oxymorons in one sentence; I am competent.

--

"Why do you do this to yourself?"

--

Should I be confused? Should I pretend to be confused? Should I try to confuse other people? I don't know what to say to him. I love him, he loves me. This is a world where nothing ever ever goes wrong. This is a world without flaws. This is a world where those that commit crimes are banished.

Commit. Isn't that a funny word? To commit to something, to be committed to something, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Committing to a friendship. Committing to a job. Committing to a marriage. And yet, the word used as a verb holds such negative connotations. Committing a robbery. Committing a murder. Committing a crime. You cannot commit a good deed. It is impossible to use such a taboo phrase in this world.

--

"Why do you always do this?"

--

Why do I always do what? Is there something I'm doing wrong? No, there cannot be. I am perfect. We are all perfect beings in this world. This is a world without flaws. This is a world without flaws. Repeat the mantra to yourself at all times. Repeat it, and all bad things will be gone. Repeat it. This is a world without flaws. A world without flaws. World without flaws. Without flaws. Flaws.

Ah, yes. It's so relaxing, to live in such a clean world. Clean, you ask? But yes. How to say it? It's like there's only white in this world. It's like a bright bright light is shielding us from the darkness. Our light can bend. There are no such things as shadows. Shadows are a mere mystery to me. How is it possible that areas so impure exist? It makes no sense. But the thought has crossed my mind once or twice. Perhaps our world is so white because the bright bright light, so bright, so pure it almost burns, is blinding us. Perhaps, we cannot fully see, because we are so pure. No, no. I think too much. Thinking is bad. Thinking will lead my life astray. I must not think. The Queen does not like us to think. We do not like to displease the Queen.

I detest impurities. My natural sense of justice tells me what is right and what is wrong. What is pure is right. What is impure is wrong. Yes. These are the principles I live by. These are the only principles those who exist are allowed to live by.

--

"I don't even know who you are anymore! What have you turned into?"

--

He doesn't know who I am anymore? Who am I? What's my identity? I seem to have no name... and yet, I am so accepted in this world of mine. They love me. They all love me. I love them. But I love him too, although I cannot. He is impure. I cannot love that which is not clean. And yet, I love him, despite his blasphemous existence. No, I don't love him. I am simply a kind, compassionate soul. I want to save him from the darkness. I want him to be grateful when I do. I want him to smile at me, to wrap his arms around my waist, to kiss me, to-

This is a world without flaws. Repeat it. If there is absence of light, I will destroy it.

But of course. How could I have forgotten? It is what I am. A destroyer. I am a destroyer. I destroy all that the Queen hates. I execute all She detests. I eradicate all that is revolting. I eliminate them from my game.

Is it my game? Or is it the Queen's game? Perhaps it's a game that belongs to the both of us.

Those that lose the game must be eliminated. I am the Eliminator. I remove them from where they would have no life, no future, no hope. I eliminate them from a world in which they do not belong. I will eliminate everyone that destroys the purity of my world, from a place they would not survive. I am compassionate.

Questions, so many questions. And yet I never expect them to be answered. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say I would not want them to be answered.

Don't destroy my reality.

I am the Eliminator in a world without flaws.

--

shut the world out lock the door keep only us inside it's just you me and the queen and you're good you're a good person you're not evil like you were when you were telling me the queen didn't exist and that she was bad the queen's not bad she's never bad the queen can't be bad stop stop stop stop stop stop lying to me i can't take your lies don't stop talking just shut the fuck up please please leave me alone let me be in peace for once why does this happen i'm so conflicted no no we're at a tea party it's you me and it's her and we all love each other the queen has taught you well don't dwell on the past the past is gone it's going it's coming back but we'll banish the past we'll change the past before it can come back to haunt us to ruin us like it did so many years ago don't betray me again or the queen will have to deal with you like she did before and then you'll love her you'll love the queen dearly oh so dearly maybe you'll finally love me