Anaesthesia drips from the I.V
as my eyes flutter shut
like lotus' petals at night.
I do not witness while you
cut out my heart and watch
it beat in your hands.
I awaken and run my
fingers over the stitching
over my heart or where
it used to be.
You had the fore-thought
to not murder me by
leaving me to bleed out.
It was sterile, wasn't it?
So I would not die of infection,
how thoughtful of you.
You are at least a professional
this is after all a routine procedure,
all in a night's work, isn't it?
What did you do with my rabbit heart, Reaper?
Did you preserve it in a jar with formaldehyde?
To keep the tissue healthy so you could keep it as
a trophy or maybe to find a way to fix the damage.
Did you replace it with a more efficient heart of a lion?
Did you fry it to have for supper?
Did you throw it away
since you discovered it to be worthless?
The anaesthesia must be still
circulating through my bloodstream
because I am still numb,
I barely feel at my fingertips
or the dull coldness of my tears.
Have I gone into shock?
Are you still going to check in
on me to make sure
your surgery was a success?
A.N: This poem was based on the poem running through my head while I slept. Funny thing is I don't remember any of the dreams just the repetition of the poem. Some of the stanzas are almost word for word copy of it, there are some stanzas that I do not recall from the dreams at all, and there were some stanzas I added in as soon as I woke up and had to write it down.
My loved one has completed some years of school for becoming a doctor, and she would love to go back and finish one day and become a surgeon. That's probably why my subconscious decided to used doctor/surgery terms as a symbol.
Also this should be taken metaphorically and not literally, because if she literally cut my heart out of my chest I would die. :P
I have entered this poem into a contest. Let's hope it wins. :D
Lotus: A flower that closes it's petals at night. (thank you google searches :P)
Anaesthesia: A drug, administered for medical or surgical purposes, that induces partial or total loss of sensation and may be topical, local, regional, or general, depending on the method of administration and area of the body affected. (Thank you dictionary dot com )
and in Pathology. general loss of the senses of feeling, as pain, heat, cold, touch, and other less common varieties of sensation. (dictionary dot com)
and in Psychiatry. absence of sensation due to psychological processes, as in conversion disorders. (dictionary dot com)
Formaldehyde: A colorless, gaseous compound that is the simplest aldehyde, used for manufacturing melamine and phenolic resins, fertilizers, dyes, and embalming fluids and in aqueous solution as a preservative and disinfectant. (Again thank you dictionary dot com )