Yr 9 English, Creative story.
So as you can see I wrote this when I was like 15? For the purposes of school and I was curious to see what people thought of it because my teacher seemed to like it but I don't really, lol
In the middle of a scorching hot, windy desert, a group of people trekked through a wide damp cavern, in the middle of a remote cave. The leader was Craig, a tall, muscular man, whose neutral voice matched his reserved nature. He was having trouble remembering where to go next because a vivacious red headed woman kept catching his eye. He frowned slightly and looked away, casting his gaze around the cavern, searching for the right tunnel.
"Do you not know the way?" the red headed woman teased playfully. She had a lovely deep voice.
"I, erm, of course, I mean," blustered Craig, blushing furiously, "Uh, this way, yes, it's this way."
He continued on, turning into a rough, dark tunnel set off to the right.
"We're nearing the end now so, as you like, move out into the bus parked in waiting," Craig called, determined to sound in control again, "and before you object, no it won't be hot, it'll nice and cool thanks to our friend the air conditioner."
Everyone trailed outside. Craig stopped for a moment and leant a hand against the rough grey wall. He closed his eyes and took a lungful of musty, damp cave air.
"Don't you just love the smell of caves?"
Craig jumped, it was the red headed woman again. He stared at her.
"My names Echo," she said offering her hand, "And you're Craig?"
"Yep," was his reply. He ignored her outstretched hand.
"Nice to meet you Craig," she said and reached out and shook his hand. It tingled. She held her hand in his for a while then moved to break the contact. He stopped her.
"I'm sorry," he said, confused. He didn't know her, but he felt that he couldn't let her go, he didn't want their hands to part.
She laughed, a surprisingly light tinkling laugh. He started to laugh too, his sweet chuckle mingling with hers. The bus horn blared and the laughing ceased.
"I guess we better join them," said Craig. Echo nodded.
They took a good strong breath of cool, stuffy air and stepped out into the hot blistering desert breeze, still holding hands.
Craig and Echo got married a month later, in a small simple ceremony at Craig's house. Only close friends and family bore witness to the happiness of the wedded couple as they laughed and shared smiles. The vows they shared made people cry as they promised that they would never leave the other behind, in life or death.
Two days later they left for their honeymoon. They were going to explore a cave in the middle of an enormous rainforest, far away from civilisation.
The helicopter took off with huge chopping wings stirring up mini twisters in its wake. Craig and Echo had to attach themselves to a tree to prevent their bodies from being blown away, light as a feather in the helicopters air. When it was safe to let go they stood in the clearing and craned their ups, squinting against the bright sunlight, laughing and waving as their transportation left them alone, utterly alone, in the leafy green wilderness. With the colourful birds, and tall trees, the exotic plants and the wild animals the trek to the cave was a little adventure in itself. Shouldering their packs, Echoes slight frame slightly under the weight, they steadily climbed the track to the cave opening.
"Phew, what a walk," quipped Echo, flashing her brilliant white teeth in a cheeky smile, as she panted slightly and dropped her pack.
"Humph," grunted Craig. He leant against a tree and clumsily shrugged his overlarge bag from his shoulders. "How about a snack"
"Yeah, I was going to suggest lunch," said Echo, as she rummaged in her bag.
They sat in silence and ate what Echo had found, absorbing the sights and tasting the air, as well as their peanut butter sandwiches, which were slightly dry in the sticky heat. Echo leaned her head against Craig's knee and he tousled her hair.
"How about we stay here for a while?" Craig suggested lazily.
"Yeah, why not," Echo replied, closing her eyes against the dappled sunlight through the canopy of foliage.
Pretty soon the noises of the rainforest were mingled through with the noises emitting from Craig and Echo as they dozed peacefully.
They reached the cave in the morning of the next day. It stood tall and bumpy with a crooked circle entrance overhung with plant life. Colourful birds flit in and out and a group of small beetles scuttled upside down around the top. A small pool of water grew steadily beside the entrance, the beating drip! drip! drip! echoing faintly. The entire outside was covered in moss, plants and animals, and there were heaps of indents and mini caves.
"It's beautiful," sighed Echo, clearly in awe of the spectacular sight.
"It's our honeymoon," stated Craig, grinning lopsidedly.
After standing there looking at it, they began to ache to know what the inside looked like. They bent down and retrieved from both their bags, a smaller bag in which they had carefully packed the essentials. They then shouldered these considerably lighter packs and stowed away the bigger packs in a hidden nook of rock.
"Wanna go in now?"
They took a good look at what lay before them, then started forward, pushing aside the curtain of nature whilst skirting the small pool and disturbing the birds, and suddenly, they were faced with darkness. Pure muted darkness, with strange scurrying echoes scratching around as their unknown noise makers went about life and a stench of musty stillness, of times long gone. Deserted, but for them and the animals. Surprisingly, hardly any sunlight got through the thin curtain and the sweet bird trills had gone. Craig and Echo sought each other's hand. They squeezed them tight and Craig produced a flashlight. Click. A cold yellow beam penetrated a narrow section of the gloom. A rat stood frozen in its glare, like a rabbit caught in a spotlight, then red eyes gleaming, it hurried from sight. Echo shuddered then pulled Craig forward. She produced her own flashlight and the beams worked together to eliminate the dark. Their footsteps echoed and crunched, the sound waves reverberating in their ears. Craig and Echo jumped at a few noises but were otherwise unfazed as they were experienced cave explorers. They kept walking through the darkness, watching walls of rough grey and brown stone slide past in a never-ending fashion, everything just looked the same but they both thought it was beautiful, relaxing. The air became sharp with the scent of moss and damp as they ventured further and further in. They had been walking for a few hours when Craig's' stomach rumbled.
"Lunch time?" Craig moaned.
"I think so, you pig."
"Hey, I can't help it if I eat more than you."
"Mmph," was Echoes reply as she tucked into her lunch. They sat in silence, listening to the sounds of scurrying feet and in the distance trickling water. But suddenly, a new sound resounded through the tunnels. That of a pair of feet, drawing closer as they splashed through puddles and stopped at irregular intervals, drawing ever so close as they stepped further still. Echo glanced fearfully at Craig.
"That sounds… human?" she whispered.
"That's why I'm confused," Craig said, "We're supposed to be the only people in this cave."
"A bear then?" asked Echo.
"Couldn't be, those footsteps are too light," Craig stated, anxiously packing up the remains of their lunch. "C'mon."
Echo stood up, her bag already packed and on her back. Her and Craig moved cautiously away from the footsteps. In their haste they weren't very quiet so the footsteps followed them easily. Echo spied an indent in the cave wall, a miniature cave just big enough for them both. She pushed Craig in and squeezed in beside him. They pressed themselves in and waited. The footsteps ran towards them, faster and faster, and then there was silence. The feet had stopped running. Craig peeked out and saw a man, a scared looking man. He was a bit ragged but otherwise well groomed, he had neat hair fixed to a side comb, he stood tall and proud and had a great big scar stretching across his face. He was looking directly at Craig, his eyes burning into his but he didn't seem to be seeing. Suddenly he grinned, his eyes focusing on a point above Craig's head and he stepped forward.
"Finally I have found other evolved life forms such as myself, in this dastardly cave," he cried, his voice sounding posh and proper, scholarly even. "May I join you?"
Echo looked at Craig. "Us?" she mouthed, raising an eyebrow. Craig nodded, a bit confused, but he looked at her a bit pleading too. "I suppose he can," she sighed.
"What's that fair maiden?"
"She said yes."
"Bravo, thankyou. I have been travelling around for awhile, down here, I have, for you see, I have no sense of direction," he trilled, laughing. Echo covered her ears for his laugh was high and nervous, a sign of dishonesty, to her. She glared at him suspiciously, while remaining 'hidden.' Craig however, chuckled as well and stepped out. Echo was surprised, he was always so untrusting of strangers, and it was like they'd swapped roles. But just because Craig thought he was cool, didn't mean that she couldn't harbour her suspicions. Craig was now standing next to the man. He beckoned for her. She stepped reluctantly from her little hidey-hole and said coolly, "And you're name is?"
Oh dear me, for I have forgotten to state my name," he said, waving his arms dramatically.
"And it is?" she pressed.
"Oh, 'tis Herbert," he said with another nervous laugh. Craig patted him on the back good-naturedly. Echo scowled and started to walk away.
"C'mon, we should keep moving."
Echo made a point to walk in front or behind the man, but never beside him. She kept walking for ages but finally stopped and abruptly sat down in a big, spacey cavern.
"Hey, what? Oh, we're stopping," stated Herbert.
"Great place," commented Craig as he looked around. An enormous waterfall cascaded gently down, with sparkling precious gems of water falling down into a round pool, directly opposite their place of rest. Stalactites and stalagmites grew in abundance around the cavern and the walls sparkled and shone with their salt covering.
"We'll make camp here," said Echo shortly.
Craig frowned at her and mouthed, "Be nice." She turned away. Herbert, apparently oblivious to this sat down and looked around happily. "Good, how about a game or something to eat?"
Echo threw some food at him and strode away. Craig looked at him apologetically and hurried after her. She stopped and waited for him at the waterfall.
"I don't trust him, he's bad news," she warned.
"He's fine, he's just lost, we can't abandon him," Craig retorted.
"We'll watch him, Ok? There's something strange about him, we don't know Herbert and we shouldn't trust him," she pleaded.
"Look Babe, I'll try but you'll see, there's nothing wrong with him."
She frowned but allowed him to hug her and they walked back to Herbert holding hands.
After dinner they settled down and tried to sleep. Craig fell asleep immediately, but Echo stayed awake, so did Herbert. He was thrashing on the ground talking to himself, it sounded like he was having a self-battle. Echo propped herself up on her elbow to see him better. He stopped thrashing and looked at her, his black eyes glinting maniacally. He lunged for her, his nails suddenly looking deadly sharp, his teeth like that of a wild cat. Echo screamed and screamed. Herbert was upon her, ready to claw.
"What's wrong?" Craig shouted scared, waking up at the sound of Echo's terror.
Herbert lowered his hand and pretended to wipe her brow. "Ahhh, she was having a bad dream."
"No, I wasn't," she protested, "He attacked me Craig."
Craig looked disturbed. "I'm sure he wouldn't Echo."
"Hush." Herbert stopped her and he secretly winked evilly at her. She shivered and went over to Craig and enfolded herself in his arms.
"It must've been a bad dream," she muttered. Craig was obviously happy with that because he settled down and once again fell asleep. Echo only closed her eyes when Herbert finally lay down and slept.
"He attacked me Craig. I know it wasn't a dream, there's something wrong with his mind."
"Mmmn, maybe, but be quiet, he's coming and if he really does have something wrong with him he won't like us whispering."
"You know we have a gun, Craig."
"Oh Echo, I could never, you… you know, it'll never come to that."
"We should be prepared…"
Craig and Echo broke off their conversation as Herbert drew closer.
"Good morning, Craig… Echo." Herbert said Echo mockingly.
Good morning," smiled Craig. Echo smiled wanly.
They ate breakfast in silence, which was a regular occurrence for most of their meals. Then they set off walking.
Herbert acted strange all day; he retreated into himself and muttered, trying to make his mind up about something. Near the end of the day he looked very different. Wild and crazy. Evil. He kept shooting secret glances at Echo and Craig, then he'd smile and talk to himself some more. He also cackled a lot, though his laugh too, had changed considerably. It was now more like that of an evil genius. His appearance was no longer neat; he came across now as dishevelled. He'd somehow got covered in grime and he blended in well with the dirty brown walls. This disconcerted Echo and she kept glancing around nervously, keen to keep her eye on him. 'Some honeymoon this is turning out to be,' she thought to herself. But at least Craig thought that Herbert was crazy too, he'd said so at lunch.
When they stopped for dinner Echo passed out from stress and Craig was so intent on reviving her that he didn't really notice Herbert tiptoe stupidly away like some bizarre cartoon character.
"Where is he?" Echo jerked up, wide-awake.
"He slipped away," Craig said looking at her concernedly.
"This honeymoon sucks."
Craig laughed humourlessly and nodded. "When we get out of this… nightmare, we'll have a normal one, ok?"
"You should get some sleep. I'll watch over you."
A howl rippled through the cave walls loosening a few rocks to land, rattling on the ground.
"What was that?" yelled Echo, sitting bolt upright.
"He's one crazy guy if he can do that!"
"Echo, he sounds near. If he comes any closer I want you to hide and wait for me to go face him. While I keep him distracted you run down to the clearing and phone the helicopter," Craig said it seriously while looking at her with a look of intense love. She nodded heavily. Another blood curdling howl rang closer. Craig looked upon Echo's' freckled face and gazed deep into her abnormal bright yellow eyes while she looked deep into his piercing sky-blue ones. He kissed her tenderly on the lips and departed with the last whispered words "I love you." Then the man faced the beast.
They lunged at each other and rolled onto the floor. Echo took off, tears stinging her eyes as her heart broke. She ran through dark tunnels, around in circles, through places she'd never seen before. She stopped out of breath in a small side tunnel, realising with a wave of despair that she didn't know the way.
Her heart beat with painful ferociousness as she heard running footsteps. Craig? A howl. Dread squashed down the rising hope. A rancid smell wafted her way and she choked. Echo turned her head and saw Herbert. He looked so evil, so crazy. "Craig?" she called weakly. Herbert gave a quick burst of raucous laughter before racing at her. She spun around and ran. Suddenly weeds and rocks appeared everywhere, scratching her skin raw, hazards for her to trip on. She sobbed and tore through tunnel after tunnel with blind panic. Echo turned down one corridor and came face to face with him, she ran into a cavern to find him coming in from another tunnel. She had nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. He kept catching up, he knew his way around. Dread piled up inside here. It weighed her down. Echo stumbled and fell. She struggled to get up. Why go on? Herbert was upon her laughing wildly. He ripped at her face and body, gouged at her eyes. Echo flailed weakly but then she remembered Craig and renewed strength coursed through her veins. She knew he'd given his life for her. She heaved Herbert off and staggered upright. She sprinted down a light grey brown tunnel. Hey! She knew this one. She laughed with joy and turned a corner. Screamed with wild delight when she saw the leafy curtain. But Herbert was right behind her. Formulating a plan in her head Echo swung her bag around and fumbled in it for the gun. Then she stumbled through the curtain. Echo turned and aimed. Concentrating. Waiting, waiting. Bang! CRACK! The cave mouth crumbled in on itself and Herbert was stopped short. His scream of fury melted her body and stung her eyes. She turned and looked. It was night time and the forest was dark and forbidding. Night animals preyed on weaker foes and Echo shivered. Then she tripped down the path towards the clearing while signalling for the helicopter as she walked.
They found Echo unconscious, off to the side of the clearing. She had blood covering herself and she was alone. They lifted her body and carried her off to the waiting helicopter. This time as the helicopter departed, no joy was felt.
Echo woke up a few days later. She stayed conscious long enough to answer some questions then she drifted out of it again.
Someone was calling her name, but she struggled to escape the beautiful, warm, fuzzy land of dreams. She opened her eyes. Stark white, clean smelling linen, un-comfy but warm beds. A hospital. Her heart started to ache again.
"Ahhh, you're awake, the police are here again," said a kind faced nurse.
"Ok," whispered Echo.
"Listen," said the police stepping forward, "We found no bodies, alive or dead in the cave, there was… nothing."
"I'm not making it up," Echo protested hoarsely.
"I'm sure," soothed the police, " but as of yet, we've found nothing."
"I have to go help you," said Echo rising.
"Oh no, you rest, you should stay here a while longer." She sunk back down resignedly, her mind working furiously. It was hard to think of anything though. Every heartbeat pained her; every pulse broke her heart open.
She was discharged and sent to her house, days later. She stayed there in the familiar surroundings for a while but she knew she wouldn't live more much longer. Her heart and soul no longer wanted to live. She stayed alive for one reason, to see Craig again, to find his body.
A nurse reported Echo missing when she called around at her house for her weekly check up to find her gone. A search went out for her but she couldn't be found. Everyone knew where she had gone and they didn't despair too much for they knew she was already dead to the world.
Echo had taken a plane then walked to the rainforest herself. She wore a dress that Craig had bought for her, the one he had said she looked sexy in. She was made up with makeup and she walked with purpose. The freezing weather and the fierce animals did nothing to sway her from her destination. Her desire for Craig kept her going. The rainforest, so beautiful on that first day, was sinister and ugly and the colourful birds were dull and lifeless in her eyes. The exotic smells were wasted in her nostrils. The birdcalls sounded rough and raw. When she got to the cave she felt that it had lost its magic. The rocks had ripped the curtain. Echo strode to the wall of rocks and began shifting them. In no time she had a hole gig enough for her to fit in. she clasped her flashlight and her gun and squeezed inside. She walked as if possessed. Her feet leading the way. She walked through countless tunnels to Craig, but first someone else. She was hunting him down, her feet drawing her closer, closer. She found Herbert lying on the ground and she kicked him awake. She held no fear for him now, only spite and hatred. He smiled and laughed mirthlessly at her.
"I've no fear for what you will do," he stated coolly as she steadied the gun.
"Good." She pulled the trigger and he was gone. Above his head she inscribed, 'Here lies Herbert, a crazy man with problems of his own.' Then she moved on.
She had no idea where Craig lay but her heart did and it took her there. She seemed to float to his side. His body had changed. Herbert had eaten him. He'd ripped away chunks of raw flesh savagely to reveal the white bones of Craig's' body. Great gaping holes flawed his body and he lay in a pool of blood. His hair was falling away and his clothes had disintegrated. He smelled terrible. Echo noticed none of this, she smelt only Craig's smell, saw only the man she had known. She stroked his moulding cheek. His body was in the process of decaying. She shakily engraved a final R.I.P note above his head and kissed his dried lips. Then she positioned herself and pulled the trigger for the last time.
Years later cave explorers came across their graves. First Herbert who had died with a mocking smile and a laugh, then Echo and Craig. Their flesh still clung to parts of their bodies and they looked at peace with Echo lying in Craig's arms.
Above their head was a message:
'Here lies Craig, who risked his life to save the woman he loved.
Here lies Echo who fought a battle to join him here.
They lovingly said they would never leave each other,
Now forever may they wander through the ages, hand in hand,
Lovers, on a second honeymoon.'
"I love you"
Please review. Criticism or Praise is welcome, lol