The Fashion Police

My husband's brilliant neon
yellow safety (award) shirt makes me

Laugh

And say rude things like:

"Confuse any fireflies lately?"
"I'm a Chiquita banana and I'm hear to say…"
"Wait, wait I have to put on my sunglasses"
"You know you're not Edward Cullen right?"
"Hey look on the bright side, if the power goes out, we won't need a flashlight."
"I yield to the power of the shirt."

But if he looks sad, then I mostly say things like:

"With a sexy body like that, you should wear a safety shirt. Warn those women baby."
"It would be a hazard not to touch you in that shirt."

Or

"Aww, you're so cute."

Generally, he ignores me…
because he's a strong, quiet man.

Myself?
Wow. I really love that shirt.