I understand that love is powerful.
Without it there would be so little music in the world.
I know that there are two kinds of love:
The love we want,
And the love we think we want.
It is the latter that frightens me.
This love (this delusion) is what makes us think:
—If I size down until I disappear, someone will want me.
—If I laugh just so, pretend I'm dumber than I am, fuck like none of it matters, someone will stay with me.
—If I tell everyone how great you are and cover the bruises with makeup, maybe you'll turn into a prince.
The love we think we want is only the love we think we deserve.
It's not good enough.
Not for me anyway.