I wonder if you're crying.

I would like to know so I can give you a bucket

So I can clean my dirty floors.

It seems that the only thing that can take the dirt out of the tiles is your tears.

It seems that the only time I'm happy is when you're miserable.

So tell me, are you crying?

And if you are, here's a bucket.

A bucket with measuring lines that will calculate:

How many tears were shed and

How many beers you drowned yourself in and

How many times your blankets were tossed.

[The same blankets I tossed in a month ago]

And once you're done, I will compare it to my own bucket.

Only when they're even can you stop crying.

And once your bucket is full

I will finally find validation in my happiness.

I need cleaner floors than you and the only way I can do that is with your tears.

So here's a bucket darling.