She sat alone in the room, peering through the blinds on her window. Outside, her mother was crying, clutching to her father for support. Her father, uncharactistically showing weakness, he was pleading. The man in the white coat shook his head. She guessed he was apologising.
It wasn't the first time she had seen that. She had grown accustomed to being let down. The initial fear, the sorrow, had come and gone. Her parents hadn't yet accepted the reality, they hoped, prayed, for a miracle.
It wasn't going to happen though, they all knew. It was the false hope that hurt her. Those brief moments where she feels that maybe something would change, maybe, there was a chance. And after that moment is gone, she's left broken again. Wishing and dreaming for something more was worse than the disease itself.
They hadn't been paying attention to her, the three adults in the hall. Dressed in her pink dressing gown, with her matching slippers, she stood from her bed. Her legs hurt from not using them, her arms were bruised, sore, from the tests, the tubes. She snuck out of the room, pausing when about to turn the hall. The doctor caught her eye. She silently pleaded with him. He discreetly flicked his wrist, shooing her away with her parents none the wiser.
She found the room she was looking for and slipped inside in a hurry. He was still, asleep, in his bed. The colouring, she noticed, in his face had come back. His treatment was working, she could tell. She sat on the side of his bed, stroking his hair so lightly. His eyes fluttered the slightest. He thought he saw her and in turn woke up a little more.
"Hey, you." He said, his voice raspy and dry.
She smiled down at him, running her fingers over his cheek. "Hey." She replied.
He looked over her, frowning. Their plan was going awry. He took her hand in his, and brought it to his lips.
Her eyes closed, while his watered, she sighed.
"This isn't how it's supposed to happen." He said, his voice breaking. She shushed him and pulled his head to her chest, lulling him the best she could.
They were quiet, holding onto eachother. "It's okay." She told him.
"There's still time, you could pull through." He said, pulling back. He sat up in his bed, holding one of her hands, his other cupping her cheek.
She shook her head, smiling lightly at him. "No, Mattie." She said, making it harder for him to breathe.
He began to cry again, unabashed. Her eyes welled up too, her voice cracked. "Hey, you listen to me."
He began to shake his head, willing not to listen to her. He mumbled over his cries, "I can't be here without you."
She held his head in her hands, forcing his attention to her. "Yes, you can." She told him sternly, fighting hard to keep back her sobs. "You are going to live Mattie. Do all the things I couldn't." Tears fell from her eyes. His watched her, his heart breaking. "You are going to finish high school. You'll go to college. You are going to fall in love." She stressed, wiping away one of his tears.
"No..." He stammered, squeezing his eyes shut.
"Yes." She breathed. "You'll do it for me Mattie, promise you will. Do everything you thought you couldn't."
He leaned forward, resting his forehead on hers. "I promise." He whispered.
She sniffed. They stayed motionless for a minute, still catching back their breaths, crying silently, until she spoke. "You made my world Matthew Forrest."
I had a dream I was dying of cancer that I contracted from a bone graft, and this was pretty much it. It the same night/really early morning i watched an episode of bones where a young girl was in the same position - with the cancer, there was no boy in her story line. Anyways, this is how my dream played out. And yes, the name in my dream was Matthew Forrest. Do I know anyone named Matthew Forrest?? No. Was there anyone called Matthew Forrest in the show? No. My brain just picked out the name i guess, though Forrest is my Nana's maiden name...haven't spoken to or about her in like a year though... Ok thanks for reading ... if you do .... uh, yeah : )