When Your Heart Stops Beating
And I can always find her
At the bottom of a plastic cup
Drowning in drunk sincerity
A sad and lonely girl
Baby Come On, +44
"Baby, come on," he said, "Just get in the car".
The rain soaked my flimsy singlet and chilled me to the bone. I was going to get a cold. I just knew it. But I was too stubborn to back down and he was too stubborn to apologize.
We were travelling down the highway. Well, he was travelling, I was walking. It was raining and windy and there wasn't a star in the sky.
"Baby, come on!" he urged, "Get. In. The. Car. Now".
No, you dick. I won't.
I ignored him. It was easier than fighting. Easier than screaming at him, wasting my voice and going hoarse. And much easier than bursting into tears.
He hated it when I cried. Not because he cared that I was hurt but because he felt guilty. And he hated feeling guilty. I saw it in his eyes whenever he knew he'd done something wrong. They'd mist over and he would apologize profusely until I forgave him. Then, he'd smile, kiss my cheek and skip away merrily.
Well, not exactly, but you get what I mean.
"Quit crying your eyes out," he snapped.
I knew that tone. He was frustrated. And he was ready to completely lose it and give up.
That was the basis of our relationship. And I use relationship in it's loosest sense. I didn't believe in love, I never had. Love was something concocted in fairy tales to give people a glimmer of hope for the future. In my opinion, people weren't together for love, hell, they weren't even together for like. They were simply thrown together for the sake of companionship. We were no exception. I didn't love him and even though he said he did, he didn't love me. Not really. I knew it. It was just how it was.
But if he left me tomorrow, I'd be devastated. I'd grown comfortable with him. And after all, no one really liked change.
"I'm not crying," I retorted, "It's raining, asshole."
I kept walking. One foot after the other, not paying any attention to the bright lights or the crunching gravel beside me.
"Screw you. I'm over this," he raged, "You can stand here and rot, for all I care."
He drove away. I watched his tail lights disappear into the darkness.
I flopped down into the mud, hugging my knees to my chest.
I waited for him to come back.
Isn't there something familiar about me?
The past is only the future with the lights on,
So quit crying your eyes out, baby.
Baby Come On, +44
"No," she said, "Not here, not now".
Not ever, not you, was what she really meant. She didn't have to say it, I just knew.
6 months we'd been together. 6 months and we'd never 'consummated' the relationship.
I thought that was pretty fucking patient for a guy.
It was our half year anniversary and I had taken her out for dinner. Wined her and dined her. I thought that would have been enough to 'seal the deal'.
Apparently not. All I'd gotten was a slap on the face and a knee to the groin.
And that annoyed the hell out of me. Not because she'd hurt me (pride and genitals excluded), but because the whole dynamic of a relationship was unfair. Girls held all the power. All of it, and it was no use believing otherwise.
They could make a man cater to their every whim, just by flashing him a bit of leg. Men couldn't expect the same treatment. We could flash as much leg as we liked and all we got was laughed at.
Maybe I'd pushed her too much. Maybe I'd gotten too handsy, too quickly in the back seat. Or maybe, just maybe, she was waiting for someone she actually loved.
Whatever the reason, I was sick of waiting for her to come around. It was just sex, it wasn't that big of a deal for me. It was for her though, tonight had made that pretty clear.
I knew we would make up soon, it was pretty much expected of us. I'd call her and apologize, she'd forgive me and we'd be back to where we left off.
Was I happy about that? It didn't matter really. All that mattered was that she was happy.
After all, I loved her, didn't I?
A/N: Hello. This is a brand new story. It's a bit different but I hope you enjoy it.
I listened to the whole +44 album and I had this idea to write a story based on everyone of the songs. It's centred around 2 couples. I hope it's not too confusing, or depressing, for that matter.
Anyway, please review and let me know what you think. I'd really appreciate any suggestions.
Disclaimer: All Lyrics and Song Titles belong to the band, +44.