I was wrong. How could he ever be plain? How could I think that? Sure, in comparison to Dell's, his murky grey eyes were bland and his touseled brown hair was average. Dell was a beautiful, picturesque, pureness. His jet black hair, his emerald green orbs, his brown sunkissed skin; his every being was filled with excellence. When he stood beside Dell, I forgot him. Dell stayed in my mind for days, weeks. Dell would nod at me, and grin, he would make my day, before. His friend would wave at me, or smile aswell, but it was wasted.
I was blinded by the hair, the eyes, the teeth, the lips, the face. The more time I spent with Dell, the more I realised. Dell was great. He was smart, funny, cute and charming. But his friend was too. Dell could make me laugh, his friend wouldn't let me stop. Dell made my heart beat quicker, his friend made it soar. Dell told me I always looked great, his friend said I was beautiful when I was the most un-beautiful I had ever been. Dell called the next day, his friend called to ensure I was home safe.
I didn't want Dell anymore. Dell was perfect, but not perfect for me. I wanted to scream my love for him. To tell him my heart was his. The inner me decided that was too needy. So, I waited. I waited for him to see. I declined Dell's drinks, and dances. And I stopped blushing when Dell called me cute.
When the group left the bar, I trailed behind. "Hey B!" Dell called, ahead of me. "Party back at my place, you in?" Jessie beside him swooned at his sincere smile, then she sent me a look as if she were calling me crazy. I was shaking my head.
"Not tonight." I said, shrugging at the group of groaning people. Jessie moved behind Dell and threw her arms up in aggravation. She pointed to him and bugged her eyes out.
I tried to signal 'no' to her discreetly. "Aww, come on." Dell drawled out, tilting his head.
"Sorry guys." I said, smiling at them. They grumbled but eventually answered with their goodbyes and began to walk away. Dell's friend didn't. He followed me. I stopped, looking to my right.
"It's late." He said, a corner of his lips lifting slightly. "I'll walk you."
He was always the gentleman. I was too nervous to speak and nodded. "You were quiet tonight." He said to me, breaking the awkward silence. I was awkward. He seemed at ease.
Of course he would, of all things, see that. "You noticed that, huh?" I murmured, looking at my feet.
He chuckled uneasily beside me, contradicting my deduction. "Yeah." He said. "I notice everything you do."
I bit the inside of my lip. Still not daring to look at him. "I was nervous." I confessed, after the short few minutes of silence. "You...you make me nervous." I laughed, to hide my humiliation though I was much more humiliated when he said nothing in return. We walked to my apartment, without a word said between us the rest of the way.
My ridiculously clammy hands shook, preventing my keys from their purpose. I focused hard on the key hole, willing the thing to go in. When it did, I silently prayed ,vowing to do nothing but good for the rest of my life.
I was ready to bid him good night. He beat me, by laying a lingering, soft, kiss on my lips. My eyes refused to open. His nose was touching mine. I couldn't speak, I just listened to his steady breathes, felt his thumb stroke my cheek. "You make me nervous too." He told me, sometime later.
I was sick, again, but i had no computer at all so i wrote this on paper, in pencil. -orange pencil to be exact- turns out i have/had ross river, and its re-occuring, sporadically. Which explains why I get sick randomly and (these days) so often : )