You know, I'm not really a nice person.

For starters I'm bossy. I mean really bossy. Especially if I know you or if there's a job that needs to get done. Ha. I remember that one time in elementary school that some other little kid told me I was too bossy. He made me cry. And then I realized that he was a mean kid anyways, so his opinion didn't matter to me anymore. Although, I do remember consciously trying to be less bossy for a while. Didn't work out too well. My nature always seems to kick in, and I'm perfectly ok with that.

I also like to pick on people I like. Not the people I want to date or anything, just people I like in general. I like to draw on them. With sharpies. To make their girlfriends get mad at them. Hey, it's not my fault she was a controlling bitch? I don't know why you liked her anyways. Emily was so much more interesting. You should've gone with her.

Oh, and I love to poke them. To bother them in almost every way possible, especially when I'm bored. There's something that's just satisfying sneaking up behind one of my friends, and poking their sides making them jump. The funny thing is that that's how we start text message conversations now.

I am also a hopeless romantic. This, meaning I like to play match maker. It really is fun sometimes… Until someone tries it on me. The difference between me and my friends, is that they're all pretty or handsome, and I'm just that girl who's always in the background… Playing matchmaker or some other type of crazy game. I love watching other people fall in love. It's just too much work for me to bother with it. I'd rather read or hear about a couple made in heaven then to try and find the right guy for me. Strangely, I have no problem with being single my entire life. I like things done just my way, and I've noticed how no one can read my mind, therefore, no one can do a good as a job putting things away as I can. I lose less stuff that way.

Not only am I a hopeless romantic, but I'm also pretty heartless. Sort of contradictory, I know. Boys are too much work. I'm being serious here. The first boyfriend I ever had was a bit of a crazy guy. We were partners first, and him being a coincident arrogant ass, really just wanted someone who was easy. And I was a freshman. What more is there to say? We're still pretty good friends though. I think I'm really the only person whose gotten away with the "Let's still be friends, k?" line and had it work. We broke up and then got back together, but it ended up being a long distance relationship, and those really suck. And he probably wasn't faithful to me. Not like I cared that much. It was nice to get a phone call at 6 in the morning to have someone tell you they loved you and to have a good day at school. Ok, he was really sweet and I loved him (I think I did at the time anyway) and he really did put up with me well.

I really don't have much to say about my second ex. We dated for like a week and then he cheated on me. With a good friend of mine. More than once. When I was gone for two days. Eh, it didn't bother me like it probably should have, and I dumped him. And that was the end. It sort of frustrated me at the time though, because I broke of my long distance relationship of over 6 months for him. Sad that that's the only thing that bothered me about that one.

And now, sadly I'm head over heels for probably my best friend. I know what you're thinking: rewind. Didn't she say somewhere earlier that she had no problem being single her entire life? This is true. I have no problem being single my entire life. Because why would I want to spend it with anyone else?

Sure, he's dense as hell, and not really "Hot stuffs" material, and he practically lives in his basement playing video games, but somehow, I still love him. He's one of the few people I can call to tell him I'm bored, and he'll stay on the phone and listen to me rant, or try and tell me something to cure my boredom. Seriously. How many guys have you been on the phone for 5 hours without saying anything important? He's also an amazing math genius. He's in Calculus 50bazillion! And helps me with my Algebra homework all the time. What's not to love?

I am pushy. Oh so very pushy. Pushy to the point where it could be bossy, but I already said I was bossy. "you should ask her out." "No." "Why ever not? You should ask her out." "No." "DO IT. Peer pressure!" "I will if you shut up and leave me alone!" True conversation there. Although I think there were a lot more "You should ask her out"s and "No"s in the middle of that. What can I say? They're a happy couple (at least they were the last time I checked) and that's probably why I'm such a good match maker, haha.

Have you ever sat at a lunchroom table that's completely filled, but there's only one person who doesn't join in on that conversation? Ironically enough, that's pretty much me at my lunch table. I have a secrete that I'm about to share with you that most people don't know about me; I'm very shy. Especially around people who all know each other, and I'm the odd man out. Unfortunately, I had to leave all my good, loving, caring friends behind when I went to my new school. Of course, they still had each other, so making new friends wasn't that hard for them. And for a while, I thought I had made a new friend similar to my old ones. Too bad she turned out to be a total lying bitch who started to spread rumors about me, then blamed it all on me. I don't really know what she was blaming me for. Something about sources saying that I was spreading crap about her, and I asked who, and she said sources, and then I asked David, and he said he had no idea, and that she had no sources because pretty much everyone but me hated her. I honestly had/have no idea what was going on, and somehow, I don't think I really care anymore. David said I still have him and my debate family so she shouldn't matter to me anymore, but you know, it really hurts to lose someone you trusted enough to tell them all your deep dark secrets. Ones that I try and forget because they're painful memories of my past. But hey, the past is the past, and I'm not going to get any of that back, so why should I worry about it too much, right?

There was a point in time where I lost my personality. I was all depressed and emo and stuff. That was pretty bad time. Sure I was still bossy and stuff, but that was all filled with hate and emoness to the max. How can you be bossy and be filled with love? Easy. You're bossy for a good reason, and it helps out both parties. Like telling someone that they have to do research for the upcoming debate tournament. Or making them do their homework. How would this benefit me? Simple: I have more people to go with me on said debate tournament and have them no suck as much as they might've. It's a win-win situation for me there. I love seeing my teammates do well. I don't have to be in the lime light, although it is kind of fun, it starts to get dull.

I love gossip. I don't gossip, but I love to hear what's going on: Whose dating who, who hasn't taken a shower since last week, who's the best kisser, whose boyfriend just broke up with them. I love watching the drama unfolding. You know, you can learn a lot about a person when they're caught up in some sort of drama. The people who are genuinely bothered by it (as in the ones whose face breaks out in a ton of stress acne, or they get really stress sick) are generally the better person. Why? Because they're bothered by what's going on. They're bothered that so in so in spreading nasty rumors about them, and they really don't know what's going on, other than that they can't seem to trust people anymore. Those are the people who are deserving of comfort and back up, and naturally, they are the ones I seek out and befriend. Why? Because I can pretty much bet you, they're not half as bad as the rumors say they are, and they really need a friend right now.

You know, I really am not a nice person. I'm mean, I'm clingy, I'm bossy, I'm pushy. I like to laugh at and with people. I don't care about making mistakes. Somehow, not caring that you made a mistake really piss a lot of people off. And I love gossip. This is who I am. And strangely, I love this person that I am, and wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world. Well, maybe.


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So yeah, if you want to know where this came from... So do I... Sort of. I was bored during study hall, and remembered being called a bossy bitch by a person I considered a friend before she tried to royally screw me over. Yeah, I have such nice friends, don't I? -Incert Sarcasm Here-