Edmond Bishop sat uncomfortably at his desk. His crush, Danielle Parker, was sitting across the classroom passing notes to Harvey Bates, the school jock. Edmond hated Harvey. He was everything Edmond wasn't. Harvey was tall, muscular, smart, and had everything going for him. Edmond wasn't ugly necessarily…just normal; a common face in the common crowd. He was short, thin, lanky, had acne, had terrible taste in clothing, was entirely dimwitted, had no real friends, wasted his life away by playing video games, never been on a date, never had a gir-

"Hey!"

…Excuse me?

"Yes you. Quit it! Its bad enough Danielle sees right through me. Do you have to sit there and tell the entire world about ALL of my problems? Jeez."

Know your place Edmond. I am the Narrator. I'm supposed to tell your story. It's what I do.

"Well you aren't any good at it."

Perhaps you would like to narrate your own story then. To deceive the reader into believing your own side.

"Well it would be better than you bashing me! And I would not deceive the reader! It just so happens that the reader would know my true feelings. They would know how I felt about everything!"

No. First person narratives, in my opinion, are too biased…

"You're too biased."

Fine. I'll redo it. Captain Pansy. Happy? Just be grateful you HAVE a Narrator.

...Ahem….

Edmond Bishop sat uncomfortably at his desk. His crush, Danielle Parker, was sitting across the classroom passing notes to Harvey Bates, the school jock. Edmond hated Harvey. Harvey was a stuck up brat and didn't even care for Danielle. He just wanted her like the sick animalistic pervert that he was. And yet, Danielle was crazy for him. If only she were Edmonds. She would then know what having a boyfriend was all about. He would hold her when she was sad. He would kiss her when she felt- Okay. This is SAPPY. Its horrible! What kind of crap was that?

"WHAT!? It was so much better than the last time!"

I beg to differ. Look Edmond. No one wants to read that. You are a loser and there's no going around it. I mean look at yourself! Look at Danielle! Honestly, would she really go for you? Be realistic.

"…I want a new Narrator. You suck."

Fine! Get your own then! I QUIT!