I am diseased

You think I am free

Happy and careless.

You think I enjoy

The pain in my chest?

I am the worst friend

A person couldn't have.

Not that they couldn't

But they wouldn't have.

I am the child

Nobody wants;

The lonely reaper

Your cruelty haunts.

Not that you're cruel,

For I understand your feelings.

How could a person love

Such mutated dealings?

My disease scars me,

Keeps me from your hearts.

But not it alone,

For I share a few parts.

I am the body

And arms of my disease;

I allow my wicked brain

To control my evil deeds.

I wish I had a say

In the things that I do,

Because if I did

I wouldn't do them to you.

Yet I deserve your hatred,

Your hurtful comments and looks.

I know I have sinned

By the joy I have took.

Many friends have suffered

At the hands of my problem,

And I deserve to be cast out

For damaging them.

So go ahead and call me

An annoying, ugly whore,

And punish me for my issues

I already suffer for.

I need to be destroyed

And left completely alone;

Warn your families and friends

Of the violence I have shown.

I'll admit my guilt to you,

I'll apologize for it;

But no matter how hard I try,

I can never ever quit.

I am diseased.