Hard to Let Go

It is hard to let go

of a past not so long ago –

a past of pain, rejection,

heartbreak and sorrow.

I have begun to believe

that how I am perceived

is based on how I look

and what others say.

I have begun to distrust others,

the world around me –

even my own shadow

invokes fear.

And that fear feeds like a parasite

on the host of my heart

slowly numbing my feelings,

consuming my humanity.

My self-esteem plummets,

and any self respect is destroyed

as the walls I build climb higher

only to be broken down yet again.