And They All Fell Down...


The year is 2014.

Jeremy Clarkson is President of the Non-United Kingdom.

The Queen, unexpectedly, in her last few weeks, turned England into a democratic presidency, instead of having a monarchy, after it was found out that Prince Charles was working with the real IRA.

Consequently, all lawyers were sacked, Greenpeace was declared illegal, and health and safety was banned. As a result, very many people were unhappy. So Clarkson took away tax, waiting at airports and speed limits. This made everyone very happy, except the people who used to be in Greenpeace, so they all blew themselves up.

Oh, and the fox was hunted to extinction, bell ringing was banned and all kinds of new religions and orders were created, then disembodied.

A new plan was created to make a huge bunker under London, holding nuclear war heads, but the entrance was destroyed by Greenpeace's mass suicide.

And that was a problem, because it had already spread right the way under England, most of the English channel, part of France, Ireland, Scotland, and Wales.

And the tops of the bunkers were way too close to the house foundations above.

But Clarkson just swore at it, and said it would teach the Scottish buggers right for leaving the United Kingdom, and forcing Wales and Ireland to do the same.

But it wasn't. It was just the beginning...