Hello! This was a short satire essay I did for my English class. We read "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain and "A Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift. Both are satires.

Mine is about over-eco friendly people.

It's all for fun, so please do not be offended. I figured I would post it to see if anyone got a laugh out of it.


The Tree House Plan

For many years, the government and scientists have warned us about the affects of global warming. The polar ice caps are melting, and polar bears are dying. In response to this horrific news, people have started to do something to help the environment. They are using more energy efficient light bulbs and saving paper to save trees. All of this is helpful, but it's simply not enough. As human beings, it's our responsibility to help our earth, our home. In the next few paragraphs, I have come up with a plan to turn our society back around, so that is entirely environment-friendly.

Before all of the industrialization and skyscrapers, there was pure land. This land contained trees, which are good for the earth. Instead of putting up more buildings, and knocking down more trees, we must do the opposite. The process will take a few years, but if we all work together, my plan will be flawless. The United States of America has the second highest carbon dioxide emissions in the world. This makes the country a perfect place to start.

First things first, we must get rid of all cars, buses, planes, and any other forms of transportation that is harmful to the environment. All families and friends should start to move into one house, or neighborhood, preferably walking distance. This will make the burden of not having a car easier. Walking and running everywhere does pose a problem, because of time. This is why energy efficient modes of transportation will still be allowed, such as bicycles, tricycles, roller skates, and scooters. For the elderly, non-electric wheel chairs will still be allowed as well.

The next step in my plan might be a little difficult for many people, but I assure you, it's a key factor in this plan. We must kill all animals; this includes pets. The reason why carbon dioxide is such a huge problem is because there are so many people and animals, and not enough trees. People and animals breathe out carbon dioxide and breath in oxygen. Plants and trees give out oxygen and take in carbon dioxide. But the animals are breathing in our oxygen. Killing people is immoral; therefore the only solution would be to get rid of all animals. Pets would be the easiest way to start because they won't put up as much of a fight.

After getting rid of the animal problem, we must shut off all forms of electricity. This includes, lighting, television, computers, etc. This will lower everyone's carbon footprint. When we use electricity, we are releasing pollution, which is extremely harmful to the world we live in. It will take a little while to adjust to a world without electricity, but once we realize that we use electricity for mostly unnecessary items such as heating and air conditioning.

The next part in my plan will take a vast amount of both energy and time. We must get rid of all skyscrapers and other forms of housing, to move into forest areas. Through using nature efficiently, we will build our own forms of housing and live in tree houses. Our food will come from the earth as will our clothing. If you live in a colder climate, living in an igloo is also acceptable.

Creating a lifestyle so that we live in tree houses (or igloos), is the goal of the plan, but I do understand that this cannot be achieved overnight. We must start out with the smaller things. We must reuse items such as dental floss. Instead of throwing the small strings out, we must save them and reuse them. Instead of writing on paper, carve the letters into stones. If we start out slow, we will be able to work ourselves up to a completely environmental-friendly world.