I'm
done
here--
done with the questions
that shouldn't need answers,
done with living
one door away from heaven
in a purgatory of complacency and
apathy.

I'm
done
here--
done with this suicide circus
'cause I've seen all three rings,
each more black and
bitter than the last.

I'm
done
here--
done with being shipwrecked
on this island of quasi-reality
and piercing self-doubt,
done with the nights that last four
years.

I'm
done
here--
done with a false memory
and an exploding sun like a
bomb with a four-billion year
timer.
Done surviving in the ruins of a
melting utopia
where I'm still
promised riches, but the letdown
is like biting into the apple's bruise
and it gets a little more rotten
with each fractured
promise and
bubbling regret.

I'm
done
here--
'cause it's not like I promised to
stay forever, I just
promised I wouldn't go past
yesterday.
'Cause the insomnia is catching and
I can't stay here forever, don't you
get it?
I'm dying here,
dying to say the forbidden words that
you just can't keep from me,
dying to take that vision of wonder I had
and turn it into
sunlight,
dying out of desperation for a
home.
'Cause I want to be the one
who people look up at and say
that's fucking insane
,
but we can all feel a little
jealous instead of just
alone.

I'm
done
here--
'Cause I can see the bombs dropping up
into the scarlet sky-sea,
and I know we
can't last forever, no matter
why we say or do or love, and
don't we all wish we knew that
all along?

I'm
done
here--
'Cause I spent my entire life deciding
what I "should" be, until
I realized one day, I will be
alone with all I have done, and
more importantly, all
I haven't done
so at that moment I said "fuck
should"
and now I'm living what's left
deciding what I
could be.

I'm
done
here--
'Cause my heart beats faster for termination
than salvation, and
don't you get it?
I've got nightmares that
won't go away,
but that doesn't mean I just let the sea
burn away my eyes.
'Cause I'd rather die
terrified
than live
forever.

I'm
done
here--

I'm
done
everywhere--

I'm done dying piece by piece--

Don't you get it?
You can try and save me, but
I won't live in another city with
no windows.

I'm gonna die with the
sun
on my
face.