Another chapter from Kayden's point of view. I'm getting along with these a bit faster but this should probably be the last one in Kayden's POV and it changes halfway through over to Elliot's, so enjoy!
~ If I asked: Would you explain what I did wrong? ~
I couldn't help but feel panicked Monday when I walked into school. I was going to see him. I had been feeling guilty and working hard to ignore him all weekend. But this was eating away at my insides, I'd never felt this bad about anything I've done, and I've done some pretty shitty stuff in my life. "I can't believe this shit!" The statement was groaned out loud to an empty parking spot. I was incredibly unhappy; I couldn't believe that I had done that. Why had I even let those thoughts freak me out like that?
Actually I knew the answer to that, people don't like me. They like my position on the schools social ladder rather than actually being around me. Hearing him say it had freaked me out, not only could I not be gay but I couldn't like Elliot back. He was not what I was expected to be with, I couldn't be with the skinny little punk boy who took care of a baby that wasn't his. The bell sounded over the parking lot, letting me know I was late to first period, leaving me to sigh gently in annoyance before pushing off the car. I would not attempt to avoid him today, if he wanted to talk we would. But I refused to go out of my way to do it.
The school day passed and it was lunch time before he approached me. Gabriel must have been in the daycare, or at home, because he was alone. He had this determined look in his eyes that I couldn't help but be attracted to, I almost wanted to smile. But I didn't and his determination wavered for a moment before returning almost twice as hard. "I want to talk to you." He said, his lips slightly pouty leaving me to nod gently, wondering if he'd throw a tempura tantrum if I said no. I followed him out the doors in the lunchroom, leading to some wide open parking lot that was nearly empty and a few garbage cans.
He looked so pissy when we finally stopped, his determination now paired with a bit of anger. "Would you please explain what I did wrong? I thought we were having a great time and then I told you I liked you and you flipped out!" He looked at me expectantly while I stood there gaping. I didn't even know how to respond. I knew an honest explanation would possibly work the best. But I don't even know if I really had an answer for him.
"I… you didn't do anything wrong." The mumbled statement left me and he looked even more confused. "I just panicked a bit when you said you liked me." He looked at me with narrowed eyes before sighing gently.
"It's not my fault. Whenever you come over to study and get help with your homework you end up kissing me. I thought… I thought maybe that meant that you actually liked me back." Both the anger and the determination had drained from his voice, leaving him looking a bit vulnerable.
"I…" I hesitated for a moment before glaring at the boy in front of me. "Before you came along I was straight, you're brainwashing me or something. I. Am. Not. A. Fag." I couldn't feel anything but guilt as I stormed off, leaving him standing there looking crushed. It was official; I was a fucking terrible person. I did like him, so very much; he had wormed his way into my heart and fuck if getting him out was possible. "Fuck!" I don't know what I kicked but it hurt like a bitch and dented some kid's car… I stared for a moment before snarling and kicking once more for luck. I moved to my own car before heading home, I needed a drink, or something to make me forget the look on Elliot's face.
When I got home mother's car was gone, leaving me thrilled that I would get the house to myself. Inside I tossed myself on the bed and reached under the bed to grab the bottle of vodka I've stored there. I pulled out a shot glass and gave it a look before sighing; I needed them to try to moderate how much I drank. I poured a shot before downing it and filled it again; I kept filling it until I stopped caring and began drinking straight from the bottle. I got a call, saying mother wouldn't be home tonight and that I needed to keep the place clean and all I could think was that it meant more booze.
When the bottle was empty I frowned and tossed it in the garbage can before looking around for something. I still hadn't forgotten how he'd looked; I needed to forget about it before I lost my resolve and took back everything. A knock on the door made me have to move though, I was a little thankful, the image was gone as I thought about who it could be. I wasn't, however, expecting to get a fist to my face as soon as the door was opened. Elliot stood there, tears streaking down his cheeks.
"I… I hate you so much!" The words stung worse than I would have thought they would coming from the boy. "I put up with your torturing, and I've liked you for so long. And you kissed me and I thought, I dunno, I thought there was a chance that you liked me back. Then you kissed me again, and again. So I figured hey you don't kiss someone unless you like them, you…" He broke off, hurt filled his eyes before he turned them on me. "You are a fag! Get over it! You don't kiss guys, and do stuff to them unless you like them at least a little." I blinked before groaning.
"I'm not… I mean… fags are…" My thoughts were a mess right now. "I mean shitty, okay, Elliot… you're, I don't like guys but you're different I think. I mean, okay I feel like shit for torturing you for so long. But… I don't know. I can't be a fag. All I have at this school is my social standing!" I frowned as I looked at the ceiling from my spot on the ground, blood dripping from my nose. I stood and wiped my nose on my shirt, at least it wasn't broken. I looked at him, he looked about to cry once more. I bit my lip before growling out a curse and pulling him against me. "Fuck Elliot! I can't… I can't stop thinking about you!" Very far cry from what he'd been saying just a moment ago. "You're all I think about, every fucking day it's you!"
"Kayden." His gasp was enough to make me pull back and slam my mouth to his, ignoring his whimper of what seemed to be pleasure as he gripped my shirt. I didn't pull back until he pushed gently, taking deep breaths as he looked up at me.
"You've been plaguing my thoughts, and… and… it's not right." I added the last bit with defeated voice before he laid his head on my chest.
"Good, because you're not getting ride of me." I frowned before nodding gently and pulling him up to my room before pushing him onto the bed and collapsing beside him. He looked at me before tossing a leg around mine and kissing my cheek. "Besides you've been so sweet." He said as he grinned. I shook my head and watched as he laid his head on my chest, today wasn't too terrible. Maybe once I got used to this it would be easier.
"Have I really?" I frowned as he nodded before he pressed his lips to mine, I guess I was pretty happy. Elliot was pretty amazing, and hell if I'd ever felt quite so good about any girls in the past.
"I… I don't know how things are going to last. But for now… you'll give us a shot right? I mean, I don't have to have anything big! I just, we can even be a secret if you want…" He said before looking at me and wrapping his arms around my neck. I could only nod gently before he kissed me once again. Okay, I was happy.
OKie dokie, another shitty could be end to the story. There'll be one last one, I know short and shitty, but that is very much my style apparently. So there's a poll on my profile to help me make a choice. I want opinions on who's POV to do it from and rather or not to make lemons! Because when left to my own it'll probably have a badly written lemon as well as be from Elliot's POV. So opinions and I'll try to get it out speedy like, but I can't make many promises.