My Thoughts

How can a person hurt you so much with their actions?

How can their death kill your well being and make your world tumble?

Yet I've been through both of these in the past day all at once too.

With a friend who was once here but now is gone- gone and wont come back.

With his death haunting me as a sign of fear inside me,

I cannot stop thinking of him and not help but cry.

It's all my fault that I don't know his beliefsā€¦

Well, actually it is-I never asked him about it.

I've put all the blame on me and now I feel terrible.

I am so much better than who I've become,

To think that I am the cause of a bad friendship.

We had our laughs, and the moments to pick on him,

And there are also those times of name calling-Acting like little kids.

Those were some fun parts of this friendship I once had,

Wishing he was here again to rewind the time,

To ask him what he believed in, to here his reply

And then feeling that I've asked him and I know-It's better to know, then not.

I've cried today, over and over and over again.

I know that this isn't going to end,

Because of this burden I carry in my heart, I wont give up too quickly.

There is still the hope of him in Heaven,

Being told by his family they would tell me once I asked.

That won't be for awhile, until the time is right,

Then I will ask once again.

You will always be in my memory(my friend)

Those moments in my life,

I will promise to cherish and never let go.

And just hoping someone beat me to that question I long to ask you,

That forever will remain until I ask your sister.

Then I will know the answer that I long for.

Until then, these are my thoughts of what I think

Think of our friendship, and how it was great.

I hope one day when I am old I will see you,

Then we can talk and catch up where we left off,

And act like nothing never happened.