i know how i look

with the headphones in

and my eyes cast down:

antisocial

and unapproachable

unfriendly

and unfriendable.

but really,

the only reason

those headphones are always there

is because

music

is my only sanctuary

my only escape

my only way away from

the turmoil of my family life

the embarrassment of my social life

the disappointment i have in myself

everything.

and while it's lonely looking alone

it's better than facing head-on

what i really want to escape from.

---

a/n: not to worry, no suicide. promise. but sometimes, i just wonder what it might be like to not have to deal with all this anymore.