Sorry

Dangling graceful fingers catch my eye

They hang from the limp arm swinging by the chair arm ever so slow

They're tinged red from the heavy loads been carried

And yet softly moving like they never met any struggles

The diaphragm drops feet, it seems, a dark pit forming inside

I feel your delicate touch on the crowning of my shoulder

But you're sitting three feet away.

Is it so hard to remember?

The tender embrace of my clasp around your neck when we danced?

How you pulled me so close when I was at my worst and wept into your chest?

I wish so hard that I could scream at you to turn around, to look at me and smile

But your back is all that I will see for now

Deeply breathing, strong shoulder blades separating, but always coming back together on the exhale

Like us.

I melt at the memory of your caring hands encompassing my own two

The way the sun caught your cinnamon hair and made it shine like gold

The peak of your head resting against mine when we were too timid to kiss

And now you sit away from me like nothing ever occurred

A deep inhale- a yawn? Dark circles swim beneath your twilight eyes

I wonder if you've been losing sleep with me on your mind

Or if it's just me

How I know that I'm being stupid, that's I'm chasing something I just can't reach

Yet it scares me to think that we could never be again

I'm sorry that I changed myself for you

I'm sorry that I can't let you go

I'm sorry that you push me away