21st century Greek Gods

Mount Olympia was sold by Zeus after the Wall Street crash

Seemed like the great depression even reached the gods

Though no longer infamous, being incestuous was still news

Hera filed for a divorce after featuring on the OK magazine

She's now editor of dating pages on the local news

Apollo, the eldest and most handsome son

After years of modelling for a niche market

Swapped the lyre for the heavier bass

Revived his cult following,

once he even flashed out the laurel for the old-times

but his brother Ares

Signed up for the first world war, got burnt

Denounced his title and went travelling

Little Artemis lost her virginity in 1963

Liberated the thousand year chastity in a commune

Her daily routine involves changing nappies of smelly babies

As for Hermes, he's worker of the year

At the post office, handy shoes with wings.

Oh yeah Dionysus, what a joker.

He's doing time for drink driving.