Some people would think that I've never fallen in love just by the way I interact with them. Looking at me, most people see a successful and serious lady. While many look for that special someone, I am working on projects and projects of ads that must meet the deadline of our clients. While many flirted their way out of a project, I earned more projects. Flirting has never been my style of work. Many guys have attempted to court me, but I turn them away. Some are just too scared of being rejected to ask a second time. Others give up.
When you fall in love you do things and feel things that you can't explain and it hurts the heart when you leave. Why should I give any of these men the idea that they can fall in love with me when I know that I am the one who isn't going to fall in love with them?
She was the most passionate and caring person that I've ever met in school. Actually the only one who didn't fall for my looks and tried to get out of my way just because I'm rich. She had long, wavy, dark brown hair that always shine in the moon. She wasn't what people would call beautiful; in fact she was very plain. It takes her 5 minutes to get up, get ready, and leave for school.
She was a very smart student though. We got paired together in freshman year; can you already picture how we got along? Ahaha, yes, there were a lot of fights and digressions. She didn't like my free, laid back attitude and I didn't like her uptight, serious attitude. She wanted to finish the project right away, I wanted to play. She got angry, I got my way, but in the end we did finish the project.
She was always angry.
I started drawing when I was 12 years old, the only gateway I found that would take me away from the places that I didn't want to be. I drew mostly women, children, fantasy characters, and sometimes guys. I can't draw guys very well but there's one guy that I can draw very well without having him pose for me anymore. His facial features are engraved in my mind, his name in my heart.
In college, I use to sit with him and draw him. I captured every facial expression of his in my sketchbook. I was his tutor I helped him and he posed for me. Not willingly of course, but I still drew him anyways, it was my 'payment' from him. I loved him, but I knew that I couldn't be the one for him. He was rich, he was good looking, and he was into beautiful women - that is something I am not. I couldn't keep him when there was another who could make him so much happier. Someone who is of a better match for him than me, I couldn't separate the two most important people in my life for my happiness.
I'm just not selfish like that.
I was a rich brat who did whatever I wanted and my father solve the problems with money. A trouble maker whom everyone doubted would finish college. Everyone I've met doubted me until I met her. She had hope in me and guided me through college. Without her, I would probably drop out of college; I would probably still be wasting my time.
Little, did I know what she was going through when she was with me; all I knew then was that I wanted her by my side, to be my tutor, the person I would complain to, and to get me through school. It was so much more fun with her and her uptightness. I never thought that one day I would want her to stand by my side as the woman I come to love.
I didn't know the pain, the hurt, the harassment she was going through. I didn't protect her; I didn't give her anything at all while I expected everything from her. I expected her presence, her voice, and her angriness.
I was depending on her.