Another wind blew at my hair, sending tendrils of it flying forward once again. The locks of my hair whipped across my face, leaving a soft sting from where the cold air had left its marks across my cheeks. My lips felt very dry. I closed my eyes against another breeze. With concentrated effort, I kept my feet steady on the surface. My bare toes hung off the edge of the rock.
The sense of gravity was somehow calming despite its threatening nature. It longed to pull me down to the rocky depths below. The dry wind never ceased, leaving my fingers feeling icy cold, frozen. The currents would grow stronger and weaker, but never did it stop. I leaned slightly away from the edge and curled my toes around the rock to keep myself in place as another gust of wind urged to send me over. I didn't know why I was under attack by the nature of the air or why I was standing at the peak of a seemingly never ending abyss. I didn't know what strange force wanted me to fall, or why. But I knew something must have brought me here. I didn't get here by chance.
My mind was racing at a dead still speed. My thoughts, never ending but never developing into worries. I tilted my head toward the sky and let the sun's consistent rays shine on my face. It didn't do much to warm me but it was somehow comforting. I opened my eyes. A seamless blue stretched above me from one side of the world to another. A vulture, a bird of fate circled overhead in a practiced patience that I envied. I clenched my fists and instead looked down. What I saw below seemed to tug at me, as if it were my destination. The farthest point away from me imaginable, and it seemed to beckon me closer. But how could it be? To take one step forward to the seductive abyss would break me. I leaned down and sat on my heels, resting my hands against the parched clay at the end of the cliff. How could I jump to where I needed to be when death was a sure possibility? Dust tornadoed with the torrents of fresh air, spiraling above the canyon carelessly. It was too lightweight to descend. But I wasn't. I didn't know if the wings on my back could hold my body up.
I began to shiver. I didn't know if my bones were trembling from the cold or from the fear. I took a breath in and then exhaled. I tried to think but my mind didn't want to cooperate. I looked over my shoulder, to the path I'd taken to get here. A vast expanse of orange desert clay was all that could be seen excluding the occasional dry brush I'd stumbled on along the way. Going back would send me no where; I needed to move forward.
I looked back into the gaping hole in the earth. The dead bushes behind me would always lean this way, guided by the wind. If the wind lead everything in this direction, then why was this blocking my way from continuing? And still more, why was I allowing it to stop me? I had what I needed to get across. However, the wind was not on my side. It changes from a river to a dead sea once past the edge. It would be a constant struggle to fly across. Another strong current of air nearly sent me tumbling over, but I gripped the rock more tightly. When it slowed to its regular pace, I stood back up to my original position.
The other side of the gigantic abyss was covered in fresh grass and patches of flowers of every color. It was where I wanted to be. Oak trees towered like giants in the land. A river coiled through the green. Its flowing water gently streamed along its path until it tumbled over the other edge of the cliff. The sound of the water was blocked from my ears by the roaring wind.
This is my choice to make. If I turn around and try to walk in the direction I came from, I would die of starvation in the blink of an eye. If I went forward, I could get trapped and caught between the walls of the lifeless canyon that would inevitably bring my death. If I went forward, I could possibly live to see the other side. I can't let the fear of never making it across keep me from trying. This is my only way out.
I turned around and walked four steps in the direction I came from. My past has nothing that could help me move forward any longer. Once again, I thought of the dry brush I'd stumbled over to get to where I am now. It's over, I'm past them. They're history, and suddenly they're erased, no longer of any importance to me. For the last time, I turned. Facing the massive gap for real this time. I took countless deep breaths before I could muster up anything close to the amount of courage I would need. I knew I couldn't rely on only myself to get to the paradise that seemed so far away from me. I would have help. I just had to reach out.
With a running start, my feet left the ground. In an act of faith, I spread my wings.