They say geniuses are either insane or oddballs; we have a collection of both except none of us excel academically. That's why we're climbing a five year academic ladder in secondary school as opposed to four. We're the most senior and least favourite among teachers. My class is a petting zoo; one containing a diverse breed of animals; thus invoked our teachers' imagination to label us 'Schzool'.

Our most prominent classmate goes by the name 'Horse'. I've yet to discover the anchor of his fascination with horses (then again, I've yet to unravel others' hidden fetish as well) but that's what he prefers to be called. Internet memes is his game while the rest of us technology cavemen knew little except 'long cat'.

"Long cat is looong ~"

He'll prance around Catherine Meow (cat meows) singing 'Long cat is looong' to annoy the shit out of her. Cat isn't tall, really, she's petite but what provoked Horse's interest was her long arms, long cheeks and long legs while her name in short - 'Cat'. Despite us all wearing the same uniform, she tries to 'balance out' her weird body proportions with rounder spectacles and longer skirt. Mind you she doesn't look like a freak or a nerd; just cute in an 'abstract way', I feel. Boys will always be boys and 'abstract beauty' isn't something they appreciate by nature.

While Cat stares, her eyebrows crunched together with much annoyance, DOG (Dong Oh Gin), never fails to gloat at her distress. This pair, since day one, was at loggerheads for God knows why. They're like living cats and dogs which just can't get along. Ironically she can work with Horse but not DOG.

Cat's abstract cuteness doesn't attract Hyena in class, Sheep does. Going by the name of 'She Ep' (Ser Ip in Chinese dialect), she is obsessed with wool. Every school vacation she'll pester her parents to visit New Zealand just to bask herself in 'woolliness'. "Even the clouds look like sheep!" She'll exclaim when we speak of the country. Woolly sheep hat, woolly pencil case and woolly backpack are the only few to name in her collection. I hate to imagine what her full collection looks like.

'Hyena', self explanatory, preys on herbivores like sheep. Of course, hyenas in the wild have a wider range of diet but shallow guy here look and act like hyenas if you ask me (without the fur). His attention anchors on any cute girls in his sights. While the sheep is a peaceful animal, she is often disturbed, not offensively, by the Hyena. Since the Hyena held basic respect for females, I could care less for their ... diverse interests.

Lastly, we have the Rat, a sharp observer and hermit; an odd ball who rarely speaks but when he does, be prepared to go through at least thirty minutes of lecture filled with scientific facts and philosophy. He is knowledgeable and hardworking thus the teachers entrusted the school's news publication to him. He picks up freelance writers here and there, packs their articles into a nice 'book' and sends them for printing. He manages everything from editorial to distribution while he hates to work with everyone else. Putting that into consideration, he was excused for most class projects.

Me? I'm the Zoo keeper of the class; I am the order, I am the bar cage and my duty is to ensure the class in orderly - although our class is usually 'disorderly', mentally and physically but I try my best anyway.