The pinkish purple fills my vision
Strangely soothing yet disturbing
I can't understand its hold.
I dream not of the flower
With its petals full of sleep and healing
Nor the scent and its promised relaxation
Instead the garish color haunts me.
It blots out my blues, my oranges and reds.
All I see is lavender
It hangs above me like a halo
I fear that others can see it
I don't want to explain its presence
I want to hide in an ocean of deep blue.
I want to be bright like orange.
But I am lavender and I will always be lavender.
I am afraid.
I am confused.
I want to be proud.
Someday I will be a rainbow.
And I will be proud.