Can You Fight Yourself And Win?

By Poisoned Twinkles


I am weak.

I am nothing but glass, a fa├žade, the cover of the book, but not the book itself.

I shatter at the touch of the greater ones.

I have always wanted to be praised, and if I have not been praised, I try to convince myself that I was not the one in the wrong. I convince myself that there was something about me that had to be praised.

I'm at a loss for words for my pride, which is strong, has been stung. And the worse part is, I know that I needed to be stung, to be hit, to feel the pain, for this ego is not a keeper. It must be lost. It must melt into the shadows of acceptance.

Acceptance of one's flaws.

Acceptance of one's weaknesses.

I am nothing but a hypocrite.

Deemed to be sagacious, I closed my heart to realization, not knowing that the consequences will be my own tears, my own hurt.

Now I ask myself... Was I meant to be like this in the first place? Or was it my own self-righteousness that led me to renew myself in ways that would only bring about the things I dread the most?

I say I am a believer.

But after this epiphany, can I even have the assurance that I will be able to believe in myself? To trust myself? Can I fight myself and win? Can I remake myself to become not the glass, but the content? The book, and not the cover?

The only conclusion I have come up with to convince myself that I have hope, yet, is that I have realized. I have turned my dusk into dawn, and my dawn into dusk. I have been struck, so therefore I must erect myself once more.

It seems that I have lost the battle...

for now.


A/N: Thanks to those who read and reviewed, particularly KRHolbrooke (is this correct? ^^')