i watch my lover sleep at night
his eyes are open, skin aflame
his muscle worn, worked, tight
lips were bruised when i first came
into the room where lights like shame
were glowing back behind the bed
he said beautiful, i said lame
he kissed me on the neck instead.

i felt the blood when we would fight
pulsing faster through these veins
and when he paused it felt too right
to bury my face and say his name
drag us out of our adrenaline game
and back to the room where he laid his head
i told him we thought just the same
he kissed me on the neck instead.

i see him soaked in gloomy light-
his wandering lips, the search for fame
through flattery with those in flight
i try to hide it, try to tame
the part of me that screams insane
and believes these words, that night i led
him to my room and read my pain-
he kissed me on the neck instead.

the time is now that i proclaim
i'll lock it down, hit its head
and have it calling out my name-
he'll kiss me on the lips instead.


first piece in way too long.
dated, though. inspired by my ex, written shortly before we broke up for the final [billionth] time.