We were talking on the phone, as usual, when an unexpected long silence occurred.
Oh,, why is this happening? Is he expecting me to say something? I know I won't get it right.
My flashbacks happen daily now. My memory seems to only be able to recall negative events.
I'm in high school just about to tell this boy, Dan, that I like him. We are standing in the hallway, he is looking great. He is clean, like he showers every night and he wears these great jeans and a tee and an oxford button down on top. Just enough of the buttons open to see the colored tee underneath. They were usually blue, both of the shirts, only different shades. They were always tucked in and his pants were never ragged at the bottom, like mine. He was neat and clean and soft spoken. We would joke together during math class. He was nice to me. So, I was going to ask him if we could maybe study for the upcoming test together.
"Hey Dan, what's up?" I say as I walked to my seat before class. I sit down and we look at each other. I love his eyes.
"Hey." says Dan.
"Major test this week." I say.
"Hmm." says Dan and I'm about to make my big line when Dan looks up at me and smiles real big. He smiles wider then the Cheshire cat. I smile as a reflex. Then Dan says,
"Here comes Beth. Wow, isn't she pretty?" yep, that is just what Dan said. He was really looking past me at her. Beth sits in front of me. She is nice and sweet and friendly and she talks to me.
"Hey, I can't believe I made it before the bell. I practically ran. Oh, hi Dan." says Beth.
"Hey Beth." says Dan. They smile at each other. I turn and face the front of the class and think there must not be any chalk up at the board because my mouth feels like it is all full of chalk. That I ate it all and that dried out my mouth. They are talking until the teacher comes in. Class begins.
If I wasn't lonely and depressed before, I am now. bla