We live in a world where the words love and lust are interchangeable. I found out first hand and yeah I understand you're gonna say, you're young, it stung, get over it kid.
In some respects I have, but there's always something that lingers, a sadness that holds me with clenching fingers, it never lets go and it shows.
She told me she loved me and I believed her, but apparently me and her had different opinions when it came to the matter of love. I thought love is when you felt so strongly about one person that you did everything you could to to make them content, and after every kiss and message I sent, after every dollar and cent that I spent, after every single inch that I bent, I thought this meant that we we're in love.
Her view on love was quite the opposite to mine. For her love was when I did everything I could to make her happy, and she went and slept with seven guys. Yeah you heard me right, seven guys. She thought she was wise and I'd never know about the plan she had devised. So we went on for awhile, my pain disguised, while still I acted as if our love was a prized possesion, I was heading in the wrong direction, I'd come to an intersection, but I'd never let her see that what we had was anything less than perfection. Objection your honor but we live in a world where the words love and lust are interchangeable.
I don't use the word slut lightly but that's what she was. Yet I thought this was normal, that maybe it was my fault this had happened. Then came a day when I said fuck it I'm sick of being the nice guy because no one else see's these tears I cry, and that was the end of us. That was one of the best decisions of my fucking life because within one year of us being over, this slut went and got pregnant twice, two abortions, distortions, a fuck up of major proportions. It took me that whole year to recover, to uncover, to discover that maybe there is still hope in the world where the nice guys with stay at home eyes, can still maybe sprout wings and fly.
I would think twice before jumping into the deep end of the dating pool, because I don't know how to tread. Instead I'd just float in the shallow end, because at least there I didn't have to give everything I had just to be heart broken, out spoken and just plain shit out of luck. This girl taught me a life lesson, unlike food sold in a delicatessen not everything is ready. You have to put a in a little work, like the Toronto Maple Leafs and Brian Burke, you can't just sit around and lurk. So I got off my ass, walked barefoot through the grass, and got myself a little class. I knew it was time to stop being used, my kindness much abused, and would I ever be amused, when these girls saw the new, with a clue, no longer singing the blues, that's my cue, me.
We live in a world where the words love and lust are interchangeable, but where do guys like me fit in?