Everyone's At It
My head was pounding with the beat of the music that was playing in every room of the small house. My sister has disappeared in the crowd as soon as we got here. She promised that she wouldn't leave me alone but she dashed away as soon as she saw her boyfriend.
I stayed close to the wall having no one to talk to since this was a college party and I was only a freshmen in high school.
Nothing could have prepared me for what was going to happen that night. Nothing.
I started to look in rooms to try and find my sister. Nothing. I looked down the basement stairs, seeing my sister's coat lying at the bottom of the steps, I started my way down.
The smoke hit my lungs with a hammer. I couldn't breathe for a moment. I coughed to clear my airways, looking through the smoke to find my sister.
There, in her boyfriends lap, a joint in her hand. That isn't what made me take a step back though, it was the needle being passed to her. She gave the joint to Rich, her boyfriend, then started to prepare to put the needle in her vein. The needle filled with that drug, that stupid, stupid drug.
"Delilah!" I yelled but it was drowned out by a sudden loud cheer up the stairs. I started my way to her, trying to hurry through the bodies on the floor. It was too late when I finally reached her. She pressed down on the needle and there went the liquid. I was shaking. She was shaking and suddenly everything was too loud and to fast.
"Delilah," I called out. She looked up and gave me a smile that did not belong to my sister.
"Well, well, who do we have here?" a deep voice purred behind me.
"Brother," Delilah told the man behind me, waving her hand a little. The man looked to be at least 10 years older than me.
"A cutie is what he is," the man purred, grabbing me by my wrist. I jerked away and that caused him to laugh loudly.
"Let's have some fun," he growled to me going to grab again, this time tighter than before.
I couldn't think of the rest of the night, my heart was racing. I could remember that Rich pushed Delilah off him to help the man hold me down. That way my sister laughed and laughed as her boyfriend took his turn raping me. The way I screamed that caused them all to laugh and laugh. I remember how when they were done, they left me there throwing my clothes at me then went on like they didn't just ruin someone's life.
I stumbled up the stairs after I was finished dressing, blood running down my legs, gathering at my socks.
I was shaking, no one at the party seemed to notice me as I limped my way out of the house to the lake where there was some bon fires going on. No one at the fires seemed to pay me any mind. Blooding and crying, I just wanted to wish it all off. I kept thinking to myself, "the lake is clean. So dirty, the lake is clean."
I was found by my sister the next day, late into the afternoon, looking like her normal self.
"Did you have fun?" she asked happily.
No, I didn't.
"I want to go home," I told her, looking wanting to look at her. I was probably running a fever for staying in the lake all late night.
"I was wondering if you actually wanted to stay again," my sister laughed going to touch me. Her hand brushed my head before I flinched away from her.
"I want to go home," I told her again.
"Life is full of unfulfilled wants," she said starting to get annoyed.
"I want to go home!" I yelled this time.
She started to say something but I screamed, " I want to go home! I want to go fucking home! TAKE ME HOME!"
"What the fuck ever," she whispered then started towards the cars. I followed her, not looking up as people watched us leave. Her, the drug princess and me her crying crazy brother.
I want to go home.
Five months pasted without anyone knowing. I was tired, sleep became torture to me, being around people make me have panic attacks. I was kicked out of school when some gay boy tried to grab me in gym and I broke two of his fingers and nose before they managed to pull me off him.
My parents took me to a therapist, who gave me anti-depressives, which I refused to take because I didn't want to become helpless and depend on drugs.
It has been five months of hell.
They found out when my sister came home with Rich for Christmas break. When I walked into the kitchen and there they sat, my family and one of my rapist, eating Christmas cookies and laughing. I threw up when I saw him, then blacked out.
I woke up on Christmas, screaming and pulling needles out of my arms. He and my father had rushed into the room along with some nurses. When a nurse demanded that someone grab a hold of me, he made a grab. I leaped out of the bed, legging shaking as I grabbed a nurse and held her tightly, screaming to not let him touch me.
The room quieted as I cried into the nurses chest, tell her to not let him make me dirty, that I didn't want to be dirty again.
"Who sweetie?" The nurse asked, holding me tightly lowering us to the floor.
"I don't want him to touch me, I don't want to be dirty."
"Get the out of the room," a soft voice said, "sh, she, no one will hurt you, sh."
I woke up to my sister sitting at the foot of my bed. She smiled at me as I slowly sat up, my head light. No needles were in my arms this time but the one that was connected to a bag of water.
"You could have all of these drugs and you stick with water," she joked after a minute of silence.
"Get out," I said.
"Excuse me?" My sister said, glaring at me.
"I don't want to see you, you drug addicted whore," my words came out weak, "I don't want you in here."
"What did you call me?" My sister demanded as she got up from my bed.
"I hate you, get the fuck out," I said my head moving to touch the nurse call button. My sister didn't move as I pushed the button.
A nurse came in after a moment, looking between us.
"Can you drug screenings or searches?" I asked, "I think my sister is high and may have some drugs on her."
"I don't do drugs," my sister yelled.
"I was raped," I choked out, the nurse rushing out of the room, "and you didn't put down your needle to even notice that it was your boyfriend who was raping me."
The nurse came back in a moment afterwards, a police officer and two other nurses with her.
"Miss, I'm going to ask you to come with me," the police officer said, grabbing my sister's arm. She continued to stare at me as I looked towards the nurse and started crying again.
The next time I woke up my mother was holding my hand tightly in her hand, tears pouring down her cheeks.
"I'm sorry," she told me. I'm not even sure if she knew I was awake, "I'm so sorry that you have gone through this alone."
Two years later and I am standing outside of a high school that I just finished a speech about rape and drugs. I've been going around, whenever schools asked me to give a speech for the past year. The school was my old high school.
I took a deep breath, leaning against the school building.
"Um, Davis Johnson?" a voice questioned. I stood straight and look at the teen that stood a bit away from me. He looked my age.
"Yes, could I do something for you?" I asked, taking a few steps towards him.
The boy looked me straight in the eyes and shouted out, "I'm sorry!"
I was confused, "It's okay, it wasn't your fault." I figured he was talking about my story.
"No, freshmen year. I touched you. You snapped my fingers in two," the boy explained with guilt lacing his words.
I laughed, good and hard.
Now he was confused.
"Do you want to get something to eat?" I asked him after I finished laughing.
"Sure," he said in shock.
"I'll even pay since I broke your fingers and nose," I told him patting him on the back.
Five years later, I am standing next to him in the church saying, "I do."
His smile brightened the whole room as he tightened his hold on my hand. I've never felt so safe in my life.
Author's Note: Yeah, so I might change Productive Tuesday to two days of the weeks. I don't know yet though. I wrote this on paper like forever ago and I just found it and put it on the computer.
I was going to post the Hello, Wrong Number thing but... I lost the notebook I was bundling the notes in. But if I find it and manage to write a a chapter tonight, I'll post it.