I'm back. I know it's been awhile, and for that I am sorry. I appreciate the reviews I got; thank you.
Lady Gaga: Need I say more?
Music Producer: We need something-something new, edgy, and cool. Something that will throw people into a tizzy!
Assistant: Like the Pirates actually winning a baseball game?
Music Producer: No! I mean yes it would be great if they would won a game, but I'm talking about MUSIC, my good man, MUSIC!
2 Months Later
Music Producer: I've done it! I've found the newest music sensation! Say hello to Stefani Germanotta! (Lady Gaga's real name, for those of you who don't know.)
Assistant: What?
Music Producer: Stefani Germanotta! The next Brittany!
Assistant: Okay…let's hear her.
3 Minutes Later
Assistant: Hmm…not bad. But she seems to be missing something…
Music Producer: What?! WHAT?!
Assistant: Well, she's got a great voice…
Music Producer: Check.
Assistant: She's got that 'star' feeling…
Music Producer: Check.
Assistant: She can dance…
Music Producer: What else is missing?!
Assistant: Well, as you know, being a great singer isn't only about your voice, it's also about what you wear. So here's my idea: We release one her songs and then make sure she's photographed a lot wearing a bunch of ridiculous outfits. Like…giant Saturn rings around here head! Or…a red mask that covers her entire face! That sorta thing! That's what I'm talking about!
Music Producer: Assistant, I think you may be onto something!
Assistant: (smiling smugly) Yeah, I know. So what are you going to call her?
Music Producer: Who?
Assistant: Sophie, Stephanie, or Stefani…whatever her name is!
Music Producer: Oh yeah. I was thinking something along the lines of…Lady Skank?
Assistant: No, Music Producer! We can't call her that! She may be one, but it's best if we hide that until she has a following. When-and ONLY WHEN-she has enough fans, can she start dressing in only a bra, fishnet tights, a bikini bottom, and a half-buttoned up shirt in public.
Music Producer: I guess that makes sense.
Assistant: Of course it does! We don't want to reveal her true nature until she is too popular to lose her fans. So, in order to make people feel more secure about her, I have just now come up with a NEW name, that will NOT make people make think of flipping the bird in a public place or sneaking into a private party at Yankee Stadium and-
Music Producer: Cut to the chase!
Assistant: Alright! Alright! The name I came up with is Lady Gaga!
Music Producer: Lady Gaga?
Assistant: 'Gaga' is something babies say, so-in theory-when people hear Sophie sing, they'll think of babies! Cute, little, innocent babies!
Music Producer: I see! It's brilliant! BRILLIANT! LADY GAGA IS BORN!
Hope you enjoyed that little segment. :-)