Advice in writing:

By Stargazer

Author's note: so this is ultra hilarious. I was taking a short break and clearing out my files. I found this and read it over. I am surprised I still have it, and I do have a point, here, However, be warned that it is a little absurd if I may say, myself… Enjoy. so read, laugh loads, and review.!!!!!

1 plot

This is crucial and you should have this developed even before the writing of the thing. Don't think you can go along and try a plot as you go, it will most likely collapse, and you will end up with a whole story with no point to it. It's like rambling on about nothing. Make a strong plot with what you probably learnt in second or third grade. A beginning, a middle and an end is required. Make sure there's conflict, and that it is doable. Make sure it's quite specific, and make sure it doesn't go general.

Oh, my plot will be just him fighting and his troubles.

That won't take you very far, but this will…

Well, my plot is he fights, with people surrounding him. He's fighting for firewood, and he needs to completely get the whole stock of it, because otherwise he'll not survive. So, he has great trouble going through it because he's discovering tact as he does.

Yes, that's better.

2 make some sense

No, I don't mean don't create fantasies, but most readers like it to be somewhat believeable. Most readers heads will start spinning after something really strange has happened.

The streets was buzzing with heavy traffic, and people were honking there horns while shouting at other cars to get out of the way. Traffic stopped, as Sally fell off her flying carpet. Then she seem to land safely with no cars running over her, Everything was at ease. She got up rather relaxed, and just walked to the sidewalk. She held her bag and only thought of shopping.

First concern with this kind of plot, there's none, or I perceive very little. There's quite a bit of illogical things going on. First the road is suppose to be busy, well, so… okay, how do traffic stop? Would everyone really stop if a girl is falling out of the sky? Do people really care that much? I would imagine cars crashing more likely and not this all the cars stop! It makes no sense. Not everyone is that nice you got to remember. I might stop, but anyone else, maybe not. If the world is that nice, then, there'll be no such thing as war. Secondly, what happens when someone jumps off a building? They survive whole and happy? Do they survive? Maybe, but they shall not be in any fine condition. Well, unless that person is god. Sally though is not God therefore this fine condition thing will not apply to her, I'm afraid. So… my next question is where is the cars? They vanished? They all went to heaven? They all just disappeared, and you don't have a clue? Well, I find that amusing if that is so. So the cars should be in a panic and trying to stop. Well, okay, last point, If she's not dead, how could she be walking to the sidewalk if she is injured really badly? Well, If a medwitch mends her, okay, I believe you, but how can this person do that? There's cars, remember?

3 characterization

This is a main element of the story or it becomes vague without knowing about the people and what they are like. You can only be involved in the story a little, because you can't even begin to understand or see them. Oh, make the traits reasonable, and not obviously fake. If your character's human they shouldn't have blue, purple, green, silver, or abnormal skin colors. There is loads of existing skin colors so use those, because people can actually believe that your character is real. If you told me Celena has blue and silver skin, I might assume selena was a alien. Don't be vague about the descriptions either, because then the readers will question what the things look like. If you say George had eyes, and skin, most readers will most likely respond with a I know that, isn't that a little obvious? Also, avoid using the word Normal, as in Normal eye color, because readers will not know what you mean. Nothing is normal. It varies from person to person. To me being blind is totally normal, but to you it's not. To you reading and writing print is easy and regular, to me, not so much.

4 not a timeline

Remember this is the final piece not the prewrite, and not the rough draft. We don't need to here you ramble on and on about things that you are planning. Add details, and if you mneed to stretch things then do that.

5 No marysues

Characters that are either perfect or controlling ruins the story. They drag all the attention and power for themselves. That story tends to collapse quickly, and other characters tend to be stuck and unable to play along, unless all of them are marysues. Yes, please, don't throw yourself in there so you can have wonderful adventures, because that will turn out as a huge possibility of mary sue.

6 Be reasonable with couples

No, no enemies are going to date if they were still enemies 24 hours before. No one will drop down to their knees and bawl for forgiveness and have the other person convinced in just a days time. Imagine this…

Your worse enemy comes up to you, they drop down to their knees dramatically, and they bawl for forgiveness, "forgive me, forgive me! I'll never do it again!"

You are going to forgive them just like that? Be realistic? Unless you were four or something, no you would not do that. If you want to do something like it, give it time. Timing is everything. Feeling sorry for someone is something else though.

7 Try spelling, punctuating, and making the grammar look right.

Okay, I know if you are a basic writer you can't do these well, but please try your best. Imagine your favorite writer writing illiterately would the publisher look at there manuscript? Remember this isn't just a chatroom/board post or a text message, but it's a story. Writing this in a text message is fine…

Thx brb btw r u leavin?

In a book, not so much…

Sometimes spelling makes it difficult to read and can be misunderstanding.

I have been cooking.

I have bean cooking

I have ben cooking.

See how confusing those sentences got?

Yes, that's the idea. Your readers will then have to play a game called decoding, and it's not fun when you are trying to read a piece of written work. If you are good at English, You might be able to tell, but for others not so much. I translate misspelled words all the time, but some people… people just don't have the patience. Most takes you as a big joke because of it. The best solution is to let people read over your story and edit it. Don't give to only a bunch of your best friends, because little will be done there. Give to someone that can really critique. Also, if possible get a dictionary, and leave it at your side when writing. Whenever you need it, please reference it. Also, check out dictionary(com) because that will definitely help too.

8 flow

Imagine you were walking along the road. Would you rather walk on broken and messily chunky bits of road or smooth well paved things? I would not walk on the former, so the latter for me. Same with writing. The smoother the better. Your readers can get confused, and not know what you are trying to say. We won't be needing chunks, at the publishers, but if you could pave them over with more details maybe taking it wouldn't be that bad. If something is chunky, a reader won't even want to finish the first page unless if they have to.

9 pace

Well, so, Someone is racing through there paper and it just sounds rushed. That deals with pace. So, you have to control that. Not too fast, because then no one could tell one event from another and frustration builds that way. You can only drag it out to a certain extent as well. Driving it way out doesn't help either. Why? That is because you tend to drag it too far and your reader now falls asleep before they can finish the event. Detail is cool, too much is not.

10 opening right

Well, an opening or a lead is rather important. This makes the reader decide are they going to take time which is important to them to read this paper or not. Yes, your title helps, but that's not the only thing. This is kind of like playing the first impressions. When you are going to a dance are you going to dress like you just woke up a second ago? Of course not, you want to look good. Same here. You want your paper to look good. Open with a strong lead so the people doesn't fall asleep. It can't be too exciting either or else it sounds strange. Using words that sound like the middle of a paper doesn't work. People will be really confused and not want to read on. It's like opening a book up to page 57 and reading a paragraph in the middle of the page..

11 strong titles

Titles are the first things a reader see, and if you put something lame they will just walk away.

Esay, very interesting

Think anyone is still willing to read it? Maybe a couple of people but not much.

12 be original

There's nothing gotten by copying a story, either a little or a lot, just don't do it, make your very own.

13 keep your word

Common sense, If you say You'll finish the story, do so. Nothing worse.

There's not anything worse, then an author not

14 using second person

Talking to the audience disturbs the flow of the story, and should not be done. A story would be easier to read without those comments. a transition that

works can do the trick.

Next day

after a few hours

Later, after a few hours,

finally a while later, which seemed like eternalty, they arived with a lurch at hogwarts.

15 spacing

Spacing is extremely, so to not hurt the readers eyes. If the text is all together, the eyes have to tense up to read the text. Often it's difficult. Use the enter key to put two lines between the paragraphs.

Sample A

Joe walked up the street, and hung his cote around his shoulders as he stopped at a light. It was so unbarablly hot, and in less then twenty minutes he'll be stuck in a stupid classroom. That was even more hot than the outside world. As his parallel cars went, and the light turned green, he swiftly walked across the street. Seeing Tommy his best friend at the other corner, he ran faster across the street. He waved his hand and hollered at him excitedly. As Tommy heard the greeting he turned and faced Joe, and also greeted him. Joe finally stepped up on the corner and hugged his friend, bidding him to come along. His hands were in Tommy's. They were laughing gaily, and they walked another block. At the side street next to their school, they crossed it concentrating on the traffic, so they didn't get runned over. Ms. Bryce was talking to mrs. toran at the next corner. Luckily, they were facing each other and didn't see the two boys. Those two teachers were the most hated and feared teachers on the whole campus. They quietly slipped behind the two, and resumed there talking when they knew they were far enough. Soon they reached the front of the school. Joe nodded at the security guard, and walked in. They walked to the four hundred building and entered the Spanish class, which was their first period. Mr. Cody was already there. Joe sat down next to Tommy and he took out his cellphone. He clicked a couple of buttons and started some rock music. Tommy danced slightly in his seat, and joe chuckled at him. A crowd of students filed in to class, and Mr. Cody stood up. Going to his desk he took his overhead sheet. Quickly Joe who was in the corner turned off the music, and turned off his phone. He slipped it quickly in his bookbag. Tommy went to his seat in the middle of the classroom.

Sample B

Joe walked up the street, and hung his cote around his shoulders as he stopped at a light. It was so unbarablly hot, and in less then twenty minutes he'll be stuck in a stupid classroom. That was even more hot than the outside world. As his parallel cars went, and the light turned green, he swiftly walked across the street. Seeing Tommy his best friend at the other corner, he ran faster across the street. He waved his hand and hollered at him excitedly. As Tommy heard the greeting he turned and faced Joe, and also greeted him.

Joe finally stepped up on the corner and hugged his friend, bidding him to come along. His hands were in Tommy's. They were laughing gaily, and they walked another block. At the side street next to their school, they crossed it concentrating on the traffic, so they didn't get runned over.

Ms. Bryce was talking to mrs. toran at the next corner. Luckily, they were facing each other and didn't see the two boys. Those two teachers were the most hated and feared teachers on the whole campus. They quietly slipped behind the two, and resumed there talking when they knew they were far enough. Soon they reached the front of the school. Joe nodded at the security guard, and walked in.

They walked to the four hundred building and entered the Spanish class, which was their first period. Mr. Cody was already there. Joe sat down next to Tommy and he took out his cellphone. He clicked a couple of buttons and started some rock music. Tommy danced slightly in his seat, and joe chuckled at him.

A crowd of students filed in to class, and Mr. Cody stood up. Going to his desk he took his overhead sheet. Quickly Joe who was in the corner turned off the music, and turned off his phone. He slipped it quickly in his bookbag. Tommy went to his seat in the middle of the classroom.

Now, why don't you tell me which is the better?

16 Don't change povs so suddenly and so frequently

Rachel, Michael, Flora, Luz, Jenna, Nataly, and Stacey walked on the sidewalk. They all wanted to pitch in to have ice cream. So, slowly they walked there, and chattered away, meanwhile.

Lucy was now cleaning the house, sweeping with her feather broom. Ah, alas, she was free. All of Stacey friends was gone out. Where they went, she had not a clue, but they did go somewhere. Perhaps, it was shopping.

Patrick was at his work desk shuffling through papers. Seeing the right one he grabbed it. He inserted some certain information in the computer rather efficiently. Jmichael had told him that he was going out with Stacey and all his other friends. He wondered if they were having fun.

So, confused yet? Yes, changing that quickly is confusing. Also, there is no transition in between. The suttlety also is shocking and make the reader wonder all the more. This bewilderment is in the most unhealthful way, because they don't need it.

17 flowing

If you write a story or especially an essay it has to flow. Not changing subjects often would be pleasanter to read. Jerking readers everywhere possible isn't a nice experience.

18 smooth transitions

19 Descriptions

20 NO you'S, please

21 Take it seriously, pretend your characters are real.

22 Dialogue and tags

23 Logic and sense.

24 review with critiques

25 check your cussing

26 limit your private life.

27 Keep up with the Times

28 Reaction right

29 notations

30 contradictions

31 realism

32 working with time, sceen, and setting changes

33 mention everything

34 Answering questions

35 don't put certain words and phrases

36 Be in the right time

37 know your material

38 Don't worry about how much critique

39 disagree but not insult

40try more then comment.

41 use words only a few times consequtively

42 smilies all over

43 punctuation in the right amounts

44 conciseness

45 unnecessary words

46 Separate talking and writing.

Today talking and writing is blended as it was in the old times, but you can no longer do that properly. They are very different arts. If you talk like you write, that's great, but you can't write how you talk. There is nothing wrong with talking more formally, I do so at times. This is unexceptable writing though.

Mimi like so totally tripped over a gay stick and like a totally cool girl just cussed. She… like so totally cussed it out. It was so totally gay and tight.

Whoa! Maybe that in dialogue isn't that bad, but when it's actually in a story in reality, it looks downgrading and down right disgraceful.

47 use some higher level vocabulary.

If you eternally use simple words your piece will look awfully elementary., and that's the last thing you want. It sounds too simple, and only too easy. It's unhealthy for the readers, unless it's for kids, then, of course, you don't use hard words.

Sample A

Nina walked over to the nice chair and sat on it. She was in a pink dress that was very nice. She looked good. Her hair back in a band. It was really that good. If she didn't wear these things, she'd look bad.

Sample B

Nina walked over to the splendid chair and sat down in it. She was clothed in a pink dress that was extremely glorifying. She was presentable. Her hair back in a band. It was smoothly composed. Not being in these garments would be a social disgrace to her high class.

48 complex sentence

49 Right mood

50 be sure to feel your character

51 strong summary

The summary is the door frame to a hut you are about to venture in to. If it's weak and shaky people

52 End well.

There's a big difference between a cliff-hanger, and a rough unskilled cut off. Your readers can clearly distinguish. Whatever way you choose to end it, do so, and be careful so it doesn't look unneat.

MOONY