Dear diary. What's up? So… Carla told me today that I need to start writing. She said that I should write about anything I wanted, as long as I stuck to a "common topic." She says that writing will help release all of my "pent up frustrations". Carla is my therapist.
Oh yeah, by the way. I'm Taylor Morgans. I'm ten years old. Carla said I should write that at the beginning, but I kind of forgot, so I'll just put it here.
So, I've decided that I will write about food. My mom always call me the conne, conesir. Some French word that means picky eater. So, I guess that helps.
So, today's topic: bananas. You know, I've always wondered, can you play sports with bananas?
Theory: see above
Conclusion: Bananas don't roll very well.
I read what I wrote yesterday. It was- kinda stupid. But whatever, Carla says I should write no matter what happens. Maybe I won't just write about food. I guess I could just write about funny things… But no, that would be bad. I should just stick to food. Food, food, food.
Did you know that some people actually eat guinea pigs? My sister used to have one. My mom called it "The Rodent." Mom hated that thing.
All I have to say is: RIP Fluffy. ( I don't know what noises guinea pigs make, but I'm making them right now. I'm trying to say "Hi, Fluffy."
Theory: Guinea Pigs are eaten by people.
Conclusion: Why would anyone do that?
I met with Carla today. When I told her how much I'd been enjoying writing, she told me that I could spend the whole session writing. I think she got a little worried when I asked her, "How do you spell 'those anarchist bastards'?"
I heard Dad yelling that at the TV yesterday and thought it sounded like a good insult. After that, she asked if I could bring this book next time, so she could read some of it. I said yes, but I don't think she'll think it's that interesting.
Oh yeah. So today my big brother, Jake, asked Mom if we could have a Halloween party outside. She said no, because it was gonna snow. That's when Jake said, "It'll be like an ice skating rink, but with blood!" I think that really made Mom mad, 'cause then she told Jake that there would be no party this year.
Theory: Mom doesn't know when I eat cookies before dinner.
Conclusion: She does, I'm grounded.
Today, Jake was playing on his X-box. I really wanted to play, but he said no. Then, I started crying, really hard and loud so he would get Mom mad. Just as she was coming to yell at him, he gave. "Because you asked, I'll let you shoot someone." That's what he said. And then, he gave me the controller and let me shoot a few people. There was blood on the screen.
"Did you know that vampires drink blood?" I told Jake.
"Vampires aren't real, Taylor," he said.
Theory: Vampires are real and they drink blood.
Conclusion: Jake doesn't think so.
Jake has to do a science fair project. He wasn't happy about it, but I am. I wish I had to do a science fair project. But, Jake didn't know what to do.
I decided to make a list of ideas for him:
-Prove Vampires exist
-Make it so we can eat cookies before dinner
-Try and play sports with bananas
Jake saw me writing this while I was eating a cheese stick. "Are you eating cheese? 'Cause that would be an awesome lab." He said and laughed. I don't understand how cheese is a lab or what a lab even is. But I think it's a good thing.
Theory: Cheese is a lab.
Conclusion: Jake says so.
Today we make Thanksgiving Stuff in School. I made a hand turkey and glued feathers on it. Then it had three eyes. Mrs. Lewis decided that I should try another craft. She cut out some people out of paper and told us to make pilgrims, whatever that is.
After I was done, Mike looked at me, "My pilgrim is better than your pilgrim." He told me. I was pretty sure he was right, since I don't know what a pilgrim is.
Theory: Turkey tastes good.
Conclusion: Only if it's not with broccoli.
I went to see Carla again today and took my book with me. She read it, and laughed, a lot. I think that's a good thing. Afterwards, she brought Mom in. "Mrs. Morgans," she said. "I think Taylor accomplished a lot with this little project. "
Mom acted pleased. "I know, Taylor had so much fun."
Carla nodded and turned to me, "You certainly know a lot about food." I had to agree with her. Before coming in, I had drawn a picture of an apple on the cover, so everyone would know about how I liked food.
Then, when we were going home, Mom bought me some ice cream and said she was very proud of me. That made me happy.