And you know that...

Some days I love you,

Other days I hate you,

Some days I'm so into you,

Other days I'm so over you,

Some days I miss you,

Other days I forget you,

But everyday I'm left wondering when

This confusion will all become


I've tried so hard to forget you, to stop thinking of you, to stop loving you. But no matter how hard I try, I just can't. And you know that.

I've been so honest with you because I want you to know how you've affected me. You still mean the world to me. You still make me smile. And you know that.

I told you so much, I trusted you with my life. I still do. You've got this charm about you which makes it so easy to let you into my deepest darkest secrets. When you're around, I forget about everyone and everything else. You just make me feel on such a high. And you know that.

But one thing you don't know is, how much you've hurt me. You said you would love me, take care of me, never hurt me. So what happened hmm? Was it just all words? Or all lies? To get me to fall for you, so then you could slowly break me into a thousand little pieces? But the again, you're not that type of a boy are you?

You're as real as it gets. That's why I fell for you. I thought you were different form all the other jerks I had encountered in the past. I thought you would be true to me.

However, you just proved that I was right all along. You're just the same as all of them jerks. If not worse. Do you know that?

But despite it all, I seem to find it in me to forgive you for all the pain you have caused me. Crazy, I know. Shows how much I love you hey?

Ok forget the fact that I love you for a minute because you already know that.

I want to know something. I want to ask you a question. I want an honest answer. Are you still in love with me? Do you still miss me? Do you still dream of me at night?

You know, I don't even know why I'm even asking. Because I already know the answer. I just wish you'd snap out of your denial and learn to accept the truth.

No matter what you think or what you believe, in spite of everything's that's happened, I know you still love me. I know you still miss me. I know you still dream of me.

You say you can see the pain and hurt in my eyes, in the way I act whenever you're around. You say you can tell that I still love you, that I still miss you. Hmm, I really must make it that obvious. I see how much you observe me, even though you say that I don't mean a thing you anymore.

If I didn't mean anything, then why do you still care about me? Constantly asking how I am, how's life etc etc. So surely I must mean something to you don't I? If I didn't, you'd stop calling, texting, IMing. You'd erase me completely form your memory. But you just can't. I won't let you forget me. Ever. And you know that,

Every day, every single damn day, you'll always creep into my thoughts, no matter how hard I try to forget you. Ok maybe on some days, when I'm really busy, I do forget about your existence and I'm at peace for a while. But then when I'm free again, with nothing to do, you're the one I find myself thinking about all over again. You know, at times I really hate myself for loving you the way I do. It just wears me out. I just wish you would somehow disappear from the surface of this earth, from my memory and from my heart. It would ease the pain

If I had my way, I would end you, completely destroy you. Hah, you'd regret the fact that you ever set your eyes on me. But for once, princess can't have her way. Why? Because it would kill me to kill you. Oh, you so know that.

So yes, no matter how much you may hurt me, how much pain you may cause me, how much you may irritate me, I'll forgive you for everything without a single fight. Because that's how much I love you. And you know that.

I feel like I've wasted my time telling you all this. But I needed you to know. I needed you to hear my truth,

I'm sick of crying myself to sleep every night, wondering, torturing myself with my thoughts, feeling so suffocated because nobody can understand. I just hope you understand what I'm going through, feel my pain through these words, cry my tears instead of me.

Finally I just want you to know, that no matter what, I still love you, regardless of what has happened. I always have. I always will.

And you know that...