Once upon a time there was a beautiful queen named Kristen Derik. However, she was only beautiful in her kingdom, the famed country of Uglyia. Uglyia was a place where the beautiful were outcast and the ugly worshiped. Kristen Derik was the ugliest of all the Uglyians. Everything about her was undesirable and disgusting. Her hair was short and frizzy, her nose was fat and crooked, her mouth wide, her teeth yellow, her eyes tiny, her jaw squared, and her upper lip even had a giant mole, though hidden by her thick mustache. Worst of all, Kristen only took a shower once in her life (to wash the blood off when she was born). Because of Kristen's unhygienic ways, her forehead was covered in giant whiteheads the size of pregnant cows, and her hair and mustache were caked with food, lice, and dirt.

Despite all these horrific qualities, Kristen's people loved her. They loved her scratchy voice, her cruelty, her witch's cackle, and more than anything, they loved her belly. Kristen's belly was a magical thing, stretching miles and miles wide. No other Uglyian had ever been able to grow such a wondrous belly. Her belly was coated with thick, coarse hairs, which some Uglyians cut and wove into baskets and blankets. Inside the hairs lived many animals such as dogs, cat, rabbits, and even deer. Hunters from far away traveled to Uglyia just to hunt in Kristen's belly hairs. However, Kristen's belly was a dangerous place. Many people went in and never came out again. Some people spoke of a giant gaping hole that led right down to hell. Kristen herself admitted to being afraid of the hole in her belly. But it didn't matter of there were five hundred hellholes in Kristen's belly, Uglyia's citizens loved it, and they loved her.