Self-Inflicted

I like you
I love you
I hate you
I think that you are beautiful
and horrific
You are perfect
and there is nothing in you I would change
You are gruesome
and there is nothing in you I can bear
I wish you well
I wish you Hell
I want to fuck you
and strangle you
I want to see you
bleed
and smile
I want to rape you
I want to own you
Protect
Caress
Posess
Destroy you
I want to scream sweet nothings at you
as I claw out your eyes and kiss them closed
You are everything
you worthless empty shell
that I can't live with
and refuse to do without
I need you
Like a hole in the head
Like CPR
I want you to live happily ever after
Better yet, just let me watch you slice your own hands off
crawl to the edge of a cliff
soar away like the angel you are
I want to hug you
Until you stop squirming
I want to bathe you so sweetly
Until the bubbles stop
I want to feel you
in every way there is
I see so much beauty
disaster
hope
Wreckage within you
I can't not feel this way
I see in you myself and I am afraid.